Our Lives On Two Wheels

Inspire Me To Aspire!!

2009-10-21T21:57:00.009+08:00

I hate the fact that I have been too busy to find the time to write..no other excuse but I just had been too busy to prioritize things that is very therapeutic to me like writing and sharing my thoughts with my friends. I really find writing therapeutic.

I have so much to write but today I have decided to talk about my aspirations in life. I would say that I am a very determined person. If I believe in something, I would work towards it despite the odds. A very fond example would be how I went through the odds, hell and back to vow for eternity with Adlil. People who knew me back then knew the hell that I had to endure to be with my Adlil. Honestly, if you ask me, despite wishing that there wasn't that much of drama, it was worth it because Adlil was and is indeed a gem! It was an effort well spent ;-). I could never ask for more because I believe that Adlil was my 2nd Chance in my life that Allah had bestowed upon me in the pursuit to eternal happiness. So when he proposed I went on with it eventhough I knew the hell that awaits me..it was worth it as it thought me to be more levelled and appreciate the finer things in life. I know one thing for a fact that not having enough money taught me to appreciate my partner and the little things in life that seems insignificant at one point in my life.

That was 12 years ago. As time passes, I tend to find myself thinking in which direction or what path our life is taking us on. Are we really happy as we seem or are we actually miserable inside? What do we really want out of life? How do we plan on achieving it? Are we willing to go through hell and back to reach that level of aspiration? Hmmm

These are many questions that I usually ask myself when opportunities are staring me in the face. At this time, I usually try to find out what is the most logical thing to do and my next course of action which usually boils to...the hell, just go for it.

To be honest, I think that the time has come. I am at a point in time in my life when I am trying to make things better for myself and the family. I am an ambitious person, sometimes too ambitious for my own good if you ask me. I tend to put too high of an expectation for myself. Alhamdullilah, I have reached that point of my career that I aspire to have at the age of 34..not bad huh..
Besides having a partner whom to me is the perfect human being and having stability in my career which I can safely say I have somewhat acheived. Most of my aspirations deal with improving myself and my self worth. I have to be all that I can be, accepting no limitations.

One of the most important goals that I have for myself is having morally upright and decent children who have strong believes in what they want on life and work towards acheiving them, respect their elders, have a balance in life and the life after - in short, becoming happy contented individuals who believes in the eternal power above them all, Allah S.W.T.
I also aspire the become better friends to all the wonderful friends that Allah has bestowed upon me. All these wonderful people who have always been with me through thick and thin. To them, I aspire to become better friends. My circle of friends may be exclusive and small but over the years I learnt the hard way that it is not the quantity but the quality that matters.

My next aspiration is to ensure that I keep and improve my faith towards the Al-Mighty. I inspire to become a better Muslim and not turn to him only when I am in need. I think over the years, all of us got better. Insyallah, it will get better and better as time passes. That is one of my aspirations.

Besides having a wonderful soulmate, great children, wonderful friends, a renewed faith, I aspire to have better health of the mind and body, enhanced conscience and judgement to always do the right thing. I aspire to have a clear conscience which I am sure would lead having a stress free and happy life. I know for a fact that it is not just me but this is something that everyone wishes to acheive in some point in their lives. Rather wait for later, I aspire to start as soon as I can so that I could enjoy what is left of my life better with more contentment.

In short I aspire to be a better person and have a happy, contented, well balanced, stress free life, full of love and learn to live with the imperfections of myself and the others around me. Of course I aspire to have more money but having that alone would not justify my main purpose in life to have a successful life dunia akhirat, Amin.

P/S: I had loads of pictures to load but after waiting for almost an hour plus, I gave up. we will try our luck tomorrow ya!!

Gimme some soul..mate!!

2009-08-15T22:26:00.004+08:00

Soulmates..that may sound so cliche. Overly rated and used. I donno I was just talking to a friend who is an ardent fan of my humble pieces of writing. She asked how I would define talking about soulmates. It made me stop to think and ponder in depth to this word.

Some would define soul mates as individuals who met this person who he/she thinks is a person whom they want to spend eternity with, to have their marriage to be a great one. For their marriage relationship to feel like a natural fit. Although they, like all married couples, need to put a priority on their marriage, it is not hard to do because they have a sense of being at ease and connected with one another. That is what everyone would associate what soulmates are. A bond that is shared by two married people. A bit over rated if you ask me :-P

If you believe in the idea of only one soul mate for each person, you may assume that a partnership of two soul mates should be able to handle challenging times easily. That may not always be the case.

Just because you are in tune to one another, each of you are willing to take responsibility for your role in contributing to the conflict, and are both committed to making the marriage a successful one -- your marriage can still fall apart if other essentials such as love, respect, and communication are missing.I feel that if you start looking for perfection in your spouse, or think that everything in your relationship should immediately click, and that there won't be any problems, you are setting yourself up for a dose of heavy disillusionment. Another danger in believing in the concept of soul mates is taking your marriage relationship for granted.

There can be temptation to bail out of an unhappy marriage if you think your spouse isn't your soul mate. If you think that marriage to your soul mate will mean a life free from hard times and conflict, you are not facing reality. Some people may think that if you've not married your soul mate, don't just walk away from the relationship for that reason alone. Spend some time getting to know yourself a bit better first. You can't find your perceived soul mate if you haven't found yourself first. That is why it is important for you to have a clear direction on what you yourself define as soul mates.

However, I beg to differ. My perception of what soulmate is a little bit more than that. I define it as one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. Someone for whom you have a deep affinity. A person temperamentally suited to another. It doesn't necessarily mean that your other half may necessarily be your soulmate. Soul mates can come in lotsa form. Sometimes there are two people who may be commited to their own other half but sometimes finds that they are connected to another person on a whole different level..Hard to explain but I guess people who actually get where I am going through would fully understand where I am getting at. Soulmates can also be defined as that when two people who finds themselves totally connected to each other, an intense feeling of connectivity and sync.
Your soul mate can be your friend, a companion, a lover, your better half or may be just this other person who you are connected to a certain level connection that results you to become very much comfortable and at ease with this person. When you meet your soul mate, you will be surprised yourself..because, you will somewhat know when this person immerges, just how when I met my Adlil, no words were exchanged but we both felt that ultimately strong connection. Although we started off as casual friends, we both knew that we were connected beyond that and deep in our hearts we knew that we were destined to be together eventhough we had to go to held and back, in and out of relationships with other people..it was sure worth the 5 year wait!!

Some say its grapevine…I say it is just plain bitching.

2009-07-24T17:19:00.006+08:00

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and she was really in a somber mood. She was very much affected by the malicious rumour mongering that was going round about her at the office and round our social circle. She was practically in tears and was super upset with the news that was flying around. After she was calmer, regain her composure and was no saying NO to my every sentence. The news that was flying around was that she was having an affair with a married chap who falls under the sought after category of a guy.

I held her hand and said…"WTF Girl, Why should you be preoccupied with what people are saying about you, they don't put food on your table, they don't help you pay the bills, all they do is just talk". She was stunned and said to me " Wei woman, what happened to you? The Yaya I use to remember use to be the one who was forever conscious about what people said about her". My answer to her sarcasm was simple – It was gone when I said YES to Panjang. She smiled and gave me a peculiar smirk.

It is true and this goes all the all my friends out there. I am sharing this with you guys because this is such a common scenario that happens in our everyday lives. So what? We talk, we bicker, we bitch about others. It may be some harmless and innocent bitching or gossiping. However, some people just take a step further to sensationalize the issue for the F@%! Of it. Agreed?

If we are giving in and getting ourselves so worked out about what people are saying behind our back, then we are giving them the upper hand..one point up. Whatever for? Why give them the satisfaction? Why are we surrendering to their bickering? We shouldn't do that. Instead, what we should do is that face it like a mature adult. Show to them that what they are saying about you is not true. Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking that what they say has that sort of effect Some people just find pleasure in depicting other people's dirty linen. Trust me may it be man or woman, people in general loves talking and getting scoops on others especially if the thing involves betrayal and some form of scandalous crap. I have to admit as a human being, I do too.

The way grapevine communication works is one person, Person 1, sends a message to Person 2 and Person 3. Then, Person 2 tells Person 4 and Person 5. And Person 3 tells Person 6. Not all participants within the grapevine send messages. Some participants are just receivers. These people just listen without taking any action. These people do not spread, they just keep 'em to' em self and bring them to their grave. Some people on the other hand take a step further by sensationalizing the story and pass it to another person.

I have been doing some "research" on this bitching and grapevine because of late, I seem to be encountering with this may it be about myself or may it be about my friends. The amount of grapevine that takes place in enormous!! So these types of rumors that are spread through grapevine communication I would say can put into two groups; spontaneous and premeditated. What I would like to call Spontaneous rumors is when people spread crappy rumours when people are stressed or in an untrustworthy environment. Premeditated rumors spread within highly competitive environments. This can be caused by numerous factors wish fulfillment, jealousy, incompetency anxiety, wedge drivers, and home stretchers. All these and more are reasons why low life morons like this grapevine about other people.

Like I was just telling a close comrade who was so affected by the rumours that was going around about him. He was at the point that he wanted to just drop everything and hid away from society. He just wanted to get out from the circle of friends he is in and he wanted OUT from everything. Pretty Dumb if you ask me because why be bothered with what this miniscule group of people are saying about him and most especially when what is being said was just grapevine per se. I told him further that why they are saying all this about him is because this is all new to everyone so it gives everyone, every reason to be inquisitive and talk about it. This is because this is all NEW, so when its new, its of the latest scoop, fresh from the oven then people TALK. So, why stupidly give in when at the end of the day you are giving this people the satisfaction to make you feel crappy about yourself. Like as if you have done something wrong. Reacting negatively like that shows that you are in the wrong..so think again..are you?

To me some people just spreading rumours for the sake of "being the first to know. I knew the whole story but I didn't utter a word to anyone. That is what friendship is about. It is about being there for your friend, believing in him and try your utmost best to just be his friend by not telling. That is what true friends are all about.

You know why I get that peace of mind now? It is because I couldn't five an F to what people say about me. To me what is important is the fact that my other half, family and good friends know me well and know that what is said are just malicious grapevine. Why do you need to give in to these stupid morons coz if you do, it makes you a moron too right? These are unhappy people who do not have a decent life to lead. So, why react and trust me, at the end of the day, the stupidest person in this whole scenario is none other than YOU!! Why let them have that satisfaction. Why should we allow this people suck the life of you? We don't owe them anything, not even an explanation let alone a reason for them to talk about. Don't EVER do that!! It makes you look like the weakest link who is affected by the slightest form of bickering. To put it short, a jerk!!

Me being me, I would always be forever honest and upfront with my friends, and sometimes I do that without sparing their feelings. If you want an honest upfront real answer you come to me. But if you are looking for someone who would nurse your ego sorry, then you came to the wrong confession dock baby!! However, to me that is so much better as there is no pretence, no bickering and no back stabbing. That is cooler than otherwise. I would want my friends to do so.

Well, its human nature and sometimes you cannot really avoid it from happening. So, one final advise I have to all my friends out there, never allow anyone make you feel inadequate or inferior of yourself. Call it grapevine, gossiping. Hearsay, tittle-tattle, blather or natter, I say is sheer BITCHING. Don't you think so?

I am Blessed!!

2009-07-17T16:25:00.004+08:00

I suddenly felt inspired to write today. I guess looking things around me suddenly it daunted me to write just a bit about my life. Hey 2009 turned out to be a FINE year for me. Honestly, here I am at work looking around me to find somewhat an inspiration, a source of happiness but with no avail. That was then suddenly I had a huge smile on my face, I saw the faces of people whom my ultimate joy in living comes from; my family and friends!!

Life may not be a bed of roses for me right now, but this only refers to my job which now I have learnt to just shove it aside after 5.30pm and never let the stress of work get the best of me. Now, I am more focused. I am looking out of the window for other options but you and me know that this is just NOT the right time just as yet. However I think it is going to be real soon. I am just waiting for Allah to give that one special miracle.

Apart from that I shouldn't be complaining. I am blessed. This actually turned out to be a good year for me. Not that bad although I think I could do better in terms of the Career department which I am trying so hard to go through right now.

I am blessed to have a wonderful husband. MY perfect guy. He takes good care of the kids and I. He goes out of his way to do things to make me smile. The best part of it all is the fact how he helps around the house. Very hard to get a guy as helpful and adorable like this. That much I know. I hear my girlfriends all complaining that their other half just don't lift a finger at all at home. As for Adlil, he does the housework wholeheartedly. He does it because he wants to. Apart from that my Adlil tries to pamper me and gives me a whole lot of attention whenever he can.

12 years ago, My Adlil never did appear as a husband yet alone Papa traits and quality. Him with his macho, cool and indifferent façade. He painted the picture like he was the "Like he didn't have the care in the world" type of guy". Never did it appear to me that he would be what he is now. Simply perfect!! I love him to bits for taking good care of the kids and I.

Looking at the kids, Alhamdullilah how they have grown. Time seems to be zooming so fast. Alief aka Abang is doing so much better now, socially. A great brother who dotes on his siblings. We still thinks that he tends to give in too much to his siblings and they tend to take advantage of this. Nevertheless, he has turned to be such a good boy. Some of my friends adores his good manners and I am proud of him. He is an average boy who gives me average grades in school but he makes me proud for what he has become.

Qyra, my warrior princess. A lot of spunk in my only princess. A smart girl who is extremely inquisitive about things around her and super attentive with minute details. She went through a bit of an episode with her health a month ago. Nevertheless she fought it through and I know it is because of her strong will power was what made it easier for her to become better. Such a artistic, clever and talented girl. A lot like me who is strong willed (sometimes a bit too much for her own good), passionate, caring, attentive and smart. Too pampered sometimes if you ask me by dearest Adlil. Well can't blame him since she is our only princess. Girls tend to be more incline towards their father and that also applies to my ever dearest only daughter.So. I pretty much have grown accustom to that fact. Alhamdullilah she is doing really well in school and she has no problems whatsoever fitting in school. She is adored by her teachers, who speak highly of her. Sometimes Adlil and I tend to wonder whether they are talking about our Qyra Adlina who needs to be reminded constantly to help with the house work. Well, you can't really get everything right?

Last but not least is my lil cute and adorable monster Raiyan. Aeyen is such a handful adorable little thing. He keeps everyone especially my dearest mummy on her feet all day. Time seems to flies. He will be turning TWO in a couple of days. He is super duppa active that he is always up to something. Very observant and has a passion for vehicles. His current amusement now is construction vehicles and lorries. He has quite a few toys at home ranging from diggers, lorries and trucks. Very amused with it!! He is actively running around and I must say that he can really keep you on your toes. Nevertheless, he is a joy to have cause he really amuses us with his trick and traits that is really cheeky and cute all rolled into one.

I am so delighted to have my mummy taking care of my children. Not everyone has the privilege to have their mummies looking after their kids. You feel very much secure, happy and contented to leave your children when you are off to work because you know that they are in good hands!! I don't think that anyone can do it better than our own mummy in terms of bringing up our children. The only thing that I think mummy dearest pampers him a bit too much. But I always say to myself, "Tak pa la, at least she gives him the attention that he deserves since I am mostly not home cause we spend more time at work rather than at home. Now that we don't have a stay in maid I know and understand that it is an uphill task for my mum. I really don't know what I would do without her.

I am also blessed to have great friends whom some I have known half of my life, parted our ways after Uni while some I was lucky to encounter along the way. As for my Uni buddies, I am so happy that since last 2 years we were re-united and the best part after all this years, we are as tight as before or shall I say share a tighter bond. We practically just picked up where we left off. Superb!! I guess all the years that we have been apart made us appreciate that our friendship is priceless. I can picture ourselves in 20 – 30 years from now and we will still be yamcha-ing together happily gossiping away. Friends like these are hard to come by. The best part, even our fave lecturer in Uni now is our 'bosom buddy". Iza, Reen, Ray, Hani, Anis, Intan, Pet, Alang, Huggable, Syazril, Era, Cik Roy, Farah, Tham and Ayin. You guys rock my world and I will cherish the friendship that we share. There is also Zett, my mate ol pal!! Some people from school like Maymay, Shelly, Yon, Salidah, Joel, Watie, Myra, Salina, Asma..you guys are the greatest. Then there are some good people who became good buddies like Salina, Fafai aka My Boboi, Tasz and to all our MMC boys and better half. You guys colour my world. At least I don't feel so 'dead' being in JB , 360km away from my kind of CIVILIZATION and friends! Sorry cannot mention all of you but you know who you are and how special you are in my lives!!

The best part is we are going to move to our own Micasa!! It is now going through some renovation works and I am only going to present the house once it is all ready. It is our pride and joy!! The feeling is extremely out of this world.

What else can I say, I am truly Blessed!!

Leaving The Door Slightly Ajar

2009-05-17T01:27:00.016+08:00

Wow!! To be utterly honest this wasn't that easy for me to write. No names would be mentioned but let's just say this is a fictional character out from my fave author Candace Bushnell's. Very edgy with a Sex & the City or 5th Avenue feel. Nevertheless, hate to dissapoint all of you that for this short and humble piece, they will not be any saucy sex scenes, next time maybe; hehehehe

I had to go for a 45 minute drive all bymyself, with the radio blasting with MY kinda music, just to be inspired. I just wanted to get away on my own and reconcile what I have made to understand via some weird encounter. Just enjoy this post as a fictional post with some thoughts for us to ponder upon. Well, since I am working on my first soon to be published fiction, I thought I should might as well put my skills to the test.

Sara has a life that everyone envied and could ever dream possible. A doting partner that adores her like no other and treats her like a princess that god had drop down from heaven just for him. She had been married for the past decade and the devotion they had for each other was beyond intense. A close friend of mine once said - The true indication that you want to have this chick for keeps is to see how beautiful she looks every morning when she wakes up. Without fail for the past decade, her other half would always say how beautiful she looks every morning when he wakes up next to her. To him it was sheer blessing to open his eyes every morning and feast his soul to that wonderful beautiful face that he vowed eternity to. She has children who are a joy to have. She had and still do have that perfect life that is to die for. A 5 figure salary and career that was classified Grade A status in the eyes of the common public.

Besides her attractive self comes a pleasant personality that everyone just adores. She has the IT life. The life that everyone would only dream about. She treats herself to occasional Pradas and Guccis coz she deserves it,every bit of it. Then, one fine day without her actually realizing, she left her door slightly ajar and that is when lady luck just came knocking on her door.

That was the start to the emotional whirlwind phase of her life that she is currently undergoing. Sara left the door slightly ajar and that is when she welcomed possibilities to come into her perfect life. Call it a mistake, call it fluke but she refuses to call it all that. She thinks its fate. That is when she allowed Ace to come into her "oh so perfect" life. Not that this was the first time she had suitors drooling over her witty personality and adorable looks. Never even once she never had allowed them to ever make their presence in his life. Why Ace? Why not the others who tried so hard to just get Sara to even notice their existence. Those are questions that Sara doesn't have any answers to. Despite all that, she was willing to hang on to infactuation to see where this was leading to.

To further complement her life is that she is blessed with friends that would go through hell and back for her. Friends who are for keeps and would never judge her ever not even for an instance. Her friends were sensing something was not at the right place with Sara. She seems distracted, aloof and preoccupied. That is when one of her pals asked abruptly - Sara. are you seeing someone? Sara was dumbfonded , flabbergasted and shocked!! Crap!! It was so obvious that it could be seen through her. Dammit!! She paused, hesitated but at the end blurted out a "sort of". Her friends were shocked but they tried so hard to stay composed and collected to ensure Sara was comfortable to level with them. However, she wasn't ready to spill the beans as she felt so inadequate to confess to what she considers as her letting her guard down. This is something which you would never seen of Sara. She would always be the one who is most composed; the one who all friends would come running to for that sense of comfort, a shoulder to cry on, someone they would confide in. Sara would be the one who be knockin some sense; a dose of reality check. This time all eyes were on Sara. Still, she wasn't ready to spill who "her kekasih gelap" was. Everyone although anxious, gave her the benefit of the doubt. Sara said "No worries, its not exclusive". They left it at that as they saw how uncomfortable she was to pursue the conversation.

A day after the meet, one of the girls who was utterly concerned called her to touch base with her. Sara just muttered, "I am anxious coz there may be something intense in store and the shitty bit is that I am willing to see where this is heading to." There was this moment of intensity in her voice and if you listened carefully, you can hear that her voice was cracking..silently. There was that intense moment of silence but Sara was still adamant on not sharing this whirlwind that she is undergoing. Sara being that concern friend tried to change the subject and made it clear that those two lines were the only thing that she was willing to part with at the moment.

Sara pondered on the thought, what the hell is she feeling and why Ace? He was obviously not her type but she had developed a strong inclination towards him. The hell? Why? He wasn't anything like her other half whom Ace just couldn't match interms of looks, charisma and poise. He was a plain Joe who could not even contain a decent conversation. Sara was known for her intellectual dialogues and to her that was extremely important as a basis of a good relationship. He was not the type that would sweep one off their feet with their romancing and with Ace; efforts was also obviously not executed at all. He is a person that was very much pre-occupied with himself and didn't care for anyone's feelings except for himself. He was always and forever paranoid but somehow that sort of declined to a bearable level. Sounds like a jerk and the question is since when Sara was attracted to jerks? She always avoided and steered clear from them. Well like they say, there is always the first to everything so Sara is adamant to see where the water is leading towards. What is important is that Sara knows Ace makes her happy and comfortable with no form of pretence.

Some would say that Sara was heading towards dangerous liasion just for the kicks? That is a question that only time can tell. No pre-judgement and no love involved. That is what makes it all so easy to feel comfortable. Nevertheless Sara's concern, thoughtfulness and care is all real without a doubt.

Shitty but amazing how that corkiness could make her let her guard down. I guess that is one thing that she had wished Ace would do, make her feel distinctive as how she longed he would, not for any reason but just to attain the moment. She knows that it was certainly not love but more of an infactuation; an infactuation that she was enjoying.

She is admitting to herself that Ace made her happy and at this point in time that is what's important to her. Both Sara and Ace were already commited with each other's life partners and which neither was willing to part with. But what they are having feels good to a point that Sara feels that she wants to pursue just to see where it would lead to. Obviously no where. Is it due to the adrenaline rush, since she was a freak when it comes to excitement. What? She is guessing it is merely the companionship and nothing more.

But why the hell is Sara drawn to him? Is it because he filled that minuscule gap in her oh so perfect life. However, one thing that Sara was sure of is that her love towards her other half was still the same, as passionate and avid as how it was a decade ago. Why? Why? Sara for once in her perfect 34 year life had no answers to this obscurity. What were they pursuing? Nothing but the trill of the vagueness and secrecy. Yet Sara is wiling to stick on to see what was in store for her. Bottomline is Sara is happy and that is all that matters..sounds cruel and self-absorbed but to her it gives her some sense of contentment.

I know you guys are all trying to figure out who the hell does this snippet refers to. Before you jump to your own assumptions and conclusion, Sara & Ace are just fictional characters that are all in us, whether you realize or not and whether one allows it to resurface is secondary. Obviously not me but just a soul that wants that adrenaline rush in her life that she is leaving her door slightly ajar to allow chance who came knocking on her door,into her life for reason even she cannot decipher.

My First Born Has A Zit!!

2009-04-25T23:44:00.005+08:00

OMG! I came back home after yet another unfufilling day at work. I have never been a fan of this crap of working on SATURDAYS - not my thing. Really unproductive. No action at all. The phone at our office also shuts off on Saturdays. Back to the story, well I came back from the office, honked and there my ever efficient No1 was running to the gate to open the gate for me. It has always been my routine to stop and open up the window and ask him how his day was. That is when I saw something rather peculiar on his chin.....the inaugural ZIT. Then being a kanchong Mama that I am, I parked the car and ran towards him. He was caught off guard trying to understand why the hell Mama is fussing over what he calls "A Dot". Then, we heard Papa's machine roaring. He said "Papa is back, nanti can ask Papa what this is"

Tak sempat Papa nak remove his helmet, Mama came running and broke the news to him. He got equally excited and ran towards him and said "My Boy is a Man now" - a statement which Mama wasn't amused with. Then Alief ran into the house and checked out his "DoT" in the mirror trying to decipher what the commotion was all about and ran into his room. Then, I told Adlil that now he has to step in to deal with the issue, which he did. He went upstairs took his facial cleanser and called Alief for a quick tutorial.

Still not satisfied, I insisted that we had his "doT' checked out. Went to the Pharmacy and headed to the face cleanser aisle. I looked at all the off the counter facial cleanser and tried to figure out what would be suitable for a 10 going to 11 year old boy. Saw this nivea and biore cleanser for men and I paused for a while and said to myself that "He's not a man yet so I guess this is not for him"

Little that I noticed that I was watched from a far by the pharmacist who came up to me and said "May I help you to look for something ma'am" So I called out for Alief who was still oblivious towards my fuss. I said to the pharmacist " Can you check this 'dot" for me? What is it? She looked at the "doT" and said "This is a pimple ma'am". So, ignoring (or rather not wanting to accept the real truth)", I ignored her and went on to me quest of obtaining my son his first facial cleanser". She stood there and said, "I think I can help you, do you need help?" I nodded slowly. She handed me a tube of Johnson's Soft Facial Cleanser and said " this would be sufficient for him, not too harsh on the skin". I took the tube from her, thanked her and headed to the cashier who gave me what I thought was a smirk - I guess that is for my kachongness that was obvious throughout the store. So, I paid and handed the buy to Alief. He said "Thanks Mama, please don't be upset with the 'doT'. Its only a doT..The DoT that made me realize that my son is all grown up now...Sigh... My Boy is all grown up!!

What Have We Turned Into??

2009-04-21T22:57:00.022+08:00

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. And it will leave you unfulfilled - Barrack Obama

I find so much truth in this quote by Mr. President. I guess now I am becoming such a slave to money that I become soul - less. I have been pondering on this thought long and hard since I got back from my super duppa trip from Phuket. Well, that I'll talk to you guys in the nexy entry. Today I wanna deal with this intense issue that I have within me. Something that I want to deal with openly. Let me pre-caution you that this entry needs at least 10 minutes of your time as its pretty lengthy.

I love to write. People who knows me knows that for a fact. The last time I wrote for this blog that was suppose to be my outlet of thoughts has also become redundant, which I never ever wanted it to be as such. However, nowadays I don't even have time to do that. Shitty!! I know it is just a lame excuse. Honestly, I just had a self realization week. OMG I think I have become a soul-less human being. A human being that is pre-occupied with wealth and abundance. Come to think of it, who isn't? Wealth, money financial security would always be on everyone's main priority list.
Pre-occupied with "harta dunia"? I have been doing some major soul searching of what I really want. I turn to my Adlil, My mum, My Friends, Allah The Al-Mighty and myself for answers. Astarafirullahalazim.

I guess people who have known me all these years knew what hell I went through last year, I went through ground zero that I swore to myself that I don't ever want to go back there ever again. I went through the phase in my life where for once, I had no control of my life and the hardest part of it all is I saw my life heading to having NOTHING. My self esteem, confidence, ego was maliciously bruised.

With all the encouragement I got from people who genuinely cared, people who were there for me and I guess Allah was listening to my cry for help, I bounced back; I was given that second chance. Given a chance to proof to myself especially that I am worth it. I am smart, talented but all that has happened to me last year was just not pointing to that. All it was pointing to is me being a complete failure. Friendships were tested, patience was put to the ultimate test and at the end of it all, I was left with a brutally bruised self esteem which I never thought I could never ever regain.

Allah gave me that chance to proof that I am still worth every penny. I got a job that came with a good package - good friends, time was blissful too - I had time with my kids & Adlil. Actually that was really sheer contentment & happiness. Then, being a adrenaline rush freak, I wanted more..I wasn't contented when now when I think back.I should have. However, it is so not my nature to look back and regret. I would rather try it out first and if in the end I can't, I would throw in the towel. I am the type of person who is not ashamed to admit defeat after I have gave it my all.

I guess at that point I got a lil insatiable. Yaya just wanted more, wanted to just proof a point that she was still "marketable" in every sense of the word. So when I got the job with a fat pay cheque, I just didn't think so long and hard about it that I dived in head on. Although I had people who knew what I was getting myself into that I was making a big mistake..I just didn't bother. All I was pre-occupied with is the thought that - I am "IN" the league, with the big boys. I am back.

But what I sort of feel kinda shitty right now is I was going against myself. I was so determined and adamant that I wanted to lead that subdued life. I was (still am) a confused adrenaline rush freak who was contradicting myself. When I decided to take it slow because of the kids and try to prioritize things, I told myself that I was not going to let myself be drawn in with this la-di-da of the corporate world. That I was going to take a step back and just be contented with what life has to offer me which is actually ample. It is even archieved in my earlier posts..I was going to be less materialistic and focus on the other things that is important in my life - my family, my soul, my faith. I was doing so well renewing all that when Allah just gave me so little to enjoy in terms of my career path. Then when he opened the door slightly ajar..where I could see my old life back..going up the corporate ladder, I got really tempted that I forgot what I was heading to. I wanted so much to proof to no one else but myself that I was still worth it. I was still sought after for my capabilities and talent. At that point in time I was so much geared towards healing my brutually bruisied ego.

Adlil, my avid ardent fan who never failed in being that wonderful supporter who always believed in me when I myself gave up, who never for a moment doubted me and my capabilities. I know in that deep deep place in your pure heart, you knew that I wasn't going to find what I was looking for but you just cheering for me because you saw the spunk it me that you thought I had lost together with my bruised ego. Thank you Honne. Nevertheless, I cannot have you protecting me and catching me everytime I fall. This time, let me do this on my own, let me learn the hard way but I will managed.

Made a detour and see where I am now? A soul-less soul with no contentment in life, work but just doing it for the fat pay cheque at the end of the month....I let myself be manipulated by these people who is just using my talent and capabilities for their own benefit. I let myself be spiritually and emotionally maneuvered just for the sake of money. Is this what I really want? Ya Allah, what have I become. Where is my renewed faith? What happened to contentment? What happened to wanting to be happy? What happened to Yaya? No way, Yaya has too much dignity and self pride.

Now when I look back and contemplate, now I know probably Allah was just testing me to see whether or not I was sure of what I wanted or whether I was just preeching all that because at that point what I saw was I only had an significant infinitesimal advancement in my career, when in actual fact I had abundant, but I was too overwhelmed what was offered to me in terms of monetary that I refuse to see anything else. Of course everyone could use that extra cash to splurge on Coach, Todds, Gucci & Prada. Where are all the things that I was determined to live for? It was unsighted because of money. Why have I become so immense in "harta dunia"?? Human nature perhaps? That inner voice in you that says; More More More is Good..bullshit!!

Of late, some point or rather I thank Allah for making me realize the hard way that money cannot bring you the happiness that you thought you would accomplish. Allah is making me become conscious of what I really want is sheer contentment, happiness and peace of mind. Something that I can now identify and its all clear to me. I am going to make a change. I am going to make myself WHOLE again. I am going back where I am appreciated and not treated as some irrelevant individual that allows herself be manipulated because of the riches that in the end does not carry any weight in my life. Alhamdulillah.

Adlil, thanks for always believing in me making me always feeling like a million bucks every time. Yon, if you are reading this, I just wanna thank you for being a great friend at work who would always try to spare that lil time that you have to just listening to my grievances and making me laugh with your non sensical jokes. Mak - thanks for being proud of me & helping me raised 3 wonderful kids who my heart beats for. Anis, Iza, Intan, Hani, Zett@Mate Reen, Fara M, Huggable, Shazril, Nadia, Ray, T.Hyok Hwei, Myra, Asma & Salina, my only two sistas in the world Nana & Shasha - you guys are my best supporter and aficionado who I love so very much..your friendship and love means the world to me and I promise that I would never trade you for all the monies in the world. To all of you who have been a true friend, you know who you are, too many superbly wonderful people to mention. To Allah Al Rahman Al Rahim, thank you for your guidance. To Arwah Ayah, thank you for always looking out for me. I am going to make that change. Insyallah.

Proud Is The Word of the Day!!

2009-01-18T12:15:00.009+08:00

Today was the ultimate proudest moment for me as a wife, "best-est" buddy to watch my other half striding towards yet another chapter in his life. Realizing his dream.

I am so proud of him and dropping him off on his new journey, honestly brought tears to my eyes. I have been so proud of him of what he has become and what he has acheived for himself and the familly. For today, PROUD is the word.

I am so uplifted today because my Adlil has just took up another step foward. Today is his orientation day. He is taking up Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Studies. I know its not going to be an easy task for him with work, the family - all these things demands a lot from him and he has been wonderful with all of this. His determination is adamant and that is so wonderful to see.

Change is growth!! This time I am on this side of the bench..so this time its my turn to be routing for him all the way and supporting him in any possible way. This time is about Adlil, his dream and aspirations. I made a vow to be as supportive as he was all throughot my life, my studies, my career. I thank Allah every single day and I am so so so thankful for his gift to me, My Adlil. He may not be perfect, but he is definitely PERFECT for ME. I could not ask for more. Now, its my turn to cheer him on, towards the finishing line. Even right now, I am still so very muchfeeling that spasm. I am utterly speechless from this beggaring description of an experience. "You go Honne!!" The Kids and I are behind you every step of the way to catch you when you stumble or fall, to celebrate when you've done good and cheering you on...

Well, today it is all about Adlil. Adlil has made the Harfy Bunch, Very Proud Campers!!

"You Live You Learn"

2008-12-31T23:46:00.015+08:00

Wow, its been a while almost a month or so since I last wrote. My humble apologies as I have been busy trying to be a super mummy eversince the school holidays started. Its more of me making time for them. However, the main reason is since the last entry, we has been away on a family holiday. Then soon after, I have been pre- occupied and adjusting to my new life...working. After 1 1/2 years being on my own, now I am working for other people.

I chose to reflect with Alanis's song - You Live You Learn. Inspirational and makes you know that everyone goes to the same shit. It is how you choose to rise above is what matters the most at the end of the day.

I have been meaning to share this important phase in my life with all of you. Being that it has been such a year that I have been tested by Allah The Al-Mighty. I have been tested in ways that I never imagine possible in terms of work, friendship and most especially my faith & beliefs. When I look back on it, I'm kinda relieved that 2008 is coming to an end in like 8 minutes or so. I just want to leave that dark period of my life...far far away. I made a vow to myself to never go there ever again. 2008 was really a trying time for me.

Anyhow, on a brighter note, I am currently attached with Sunway College. I am in position as The Head for The Language Programs and also lecturing at the same time. It was kinda difficult for me to get into the routine. Nevertheless, Alhamdullilah after 2 weeks or so, I am adjusting and really like it. Everyday is a learning thing for me as I am left on my own to figure things out. Kinda taxing and makes you mentally drained but as you know, I have been missing that adrenaline rush so I am pretty much getting all that in my new frontier. Figuring out things makes me more alert and I am pretty much trying to get into the swing of things. Insyallah, give it time I say, I'll get there sooner than I thought I would.

My typical working day in Sunway would start as early as 8.30am where I have to clock in (mind you, the punch card system...crap, I have never been good with these stuff). Then I would go through my emails and do all administrative stuff since the the term will only be commencing on the 5th of January 2008. I have 5 lecturers under me and 3/4 of them are way..my seniors in terms of age. So you can imagine what I have to deal with. Generally they are quite accomodating but sometimes its hard to get them to accept change. Don't really blame them though, since they are "older" and more resistant to change. I on the other hand, am constantly figuring out things on my own and everyday since I had reported for duty on 15th December, I have never failed to be SURPRISED on a daily basis (no shit) in all forms possible. I must say it is nice though to learn things this way.. Nice but not easy. Well, I thought to myself, I went through hell and back in 2008, a few challenges had never stopped me.

I'll be going through a whole new phase in 2009. I am hoping for the best and will not settle for anything less. I guess sometimes my expectations towards myself is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy to ambitious. Its ok, the skies the limit for me and I am not going to let anyone or anything be in the way of me regaining my life back. My ego, self esteem and will power had been battered to the maximum in 2008. I crumbled, cried but I never gave up. To me anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. However, I learned to keep it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart. That my friend is true strength. I thank My Adlil for always being there for me, cheering for me when there is really nothing to cheer about. Adlil has never failed to believe in me and my capabilities so why shouldn't I.

Two important things that I learnt from all of this are - True Genuine Friends are Hard To Come By These Days and that failure makes you even more competent in ways you never thought possible.

BTW, I am glad that my really close girlfriends and I got together after all these years and now that we have matured, we realize how valuable our friendships were and still is. So, we have made a pact to stay as tight and celebrate our successes, joy and failures together. I am so glad that we have connected after all these years. One thing's for sure, we are going to grow old and still be as strongly connected, magical but very surreal.

I had made some resolutions for myself for 2009 which all sums up to this -I am going to try very hard to become a better person in every sense of the word thus making myself and my Harfy Bunch proud. I have learnt though the hard way that success is having the courage, determination and will to become the person that you believe you were meant to be.

I leave you to usher in the New Year with this - “Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what? Shit Happens. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” Happy New Year and Cheers to A Prosperous Year!!

2009, here I come with a vengence to rise up high.

Aidiladha is here again!!

2008-12-07T20:03:00.006+08:00

Tomorrow will be Aidiladha. We are now at our in laws place to celebrate Aidiladha. Furthermore, my F-I-L has a broken wrist. He fell off the ladder that was due to be scraped while trying to change the light bulb in the toliet His left arm is like major swollen and it has been cemented. Poor soul. However, the good news is that he is getting better. I guess when you are as active as he is at that age, its easier to get better. The force is strong in my F-I-L and that's without a doubt.

We'll be off for a short holiday to Port Dickson, its basically more for the kids. Staying at the Avillion Admiral Cove. Just to bring the kids and Mak to unwind and relax. As for the kids, it will be swimming galore la as usual.

I am kinda looking foward for this PAC thing that I will be going to on the 11th. For some of you, you might now that I actually passed the PTD exam..Kinda psyche myself as I thought that I would not get through the exams. Now, we have to go to this PAC thing that is part of the whole process. It may come as a surprise to some of you, I am actually kinda nervous about going to this PAC thing as I really don't know what to expect from this kind of thing. Adlil was sweet enough to get me the required attire - a new track pants, jogging shoes complete with a new pair of socks and we were asked to be in white collared t-shirt. So, I have gotten all the assemble in place and all ready for the 11th at INTAN in Kluang. I'll be sharing the experience with you guys in the next entry , Insyallah.

Last weekend, we had a lil reunion with my TESL 6 frens. It was really fun meeting up with friends who I have not met for almost 10 years or so. I was responsible for this small but intimate reunion together with my partner in crime, Bobo. Glad everyone was happy and contented with the humble but happening reunion. Had great fun!! We may have grow apart, as most of us live in different parts of the country. We got older, wider (huhuhhu) and all of us have gotten more matured ;-) but one thing that is still the same is the NOISE as well as the tightness, so much noise, good conversation with great company and fun all at the same time. Totally wicked!! Loads of fun. To me old buddies that I have are the one for keeps, they are the one who knows you inside out and would be there for you. No pretence and non judgemental.

Here's wishing all of you and your families a Happy Aidiladha. A good time to reflect and tafakur.

P/S: Donno why but I'm having some problems uploading the pics right now..will do so soon. Now I have to head down to the kitchen to help MIL as the guests will be arriving soon for Takbir Raya.

Looking Foward To Brighter Skies Ahead

2008-11-21T21:48:00.018+08:00

It was indeed a productive week for us and the kids in the Harfy Household. Apart of us celebrating our 11th Anniversary. we have been busy busy. I managed to surprised Adlil by sending him a bunch of flowers but never did I thought that I was up to another surprise, Adlil sent me a bouquet with 11 stalks of beautiful red roses, he couldn't find tulips, my fave flower to be delivered on short notice, So basically we surprised each other..cute. I am finishing my last 6 holiday courses before I embark on my new journey at my new work place. I am teaching another 18 more hours of Creative Writing class which will end on the 4th of December. The new job came as a fluke but I guess that's rezeki from Allah for me after undergoing 1/2 a year or all sorts of drama. Alhamdullilah. I'll fill you in n that nearer to time. For now its my lil secret..hehehhee.

So, from 4th to 14th of December, one day before I report for duty, we are planning on a family holiday, to bring the kids for jalan - jalan as they have been complaining that we have been too busy with work and they are bored to death...aahh that's just an excuse..they have been enjoying their holidays on the computer and indulging in their PSP battles.

Alhamdullilah for Adlil, eversince he moved to his new office, he has been really busy with back to back events which is good. He has also branched out into events since many had persuaded him to do so. I guess it is also to keep me occupied. I am currently his person - in - charge, handling his events. We gone through a few in the last past month. However, Adlil is more comfortable doing his AV stuff which has been his forte that he is brilliant doing it. The events organizing part complements his business. I am busy training his staff the nukes and corners of events coordination and they pretty much have got the hang of it. I help him with the details and cordination. Pretty satisfiying since I really enjoy doing it. His staff of Suara Rasa are also enjoying it quite a bit although now they have to do paperwork too.. which previously Adlil managed on his own with his temp girl and me. We are pretty booked up till end of this year.. Syukur. Wuth a new logo and branding exercise, I must say that we are so proud of it and Alhamdullilah Insyallah will continue to bloom rapidly. He's currently away in Desaru for an event and will only be back tomorrow night. Kinda miss my Panjang.

At the same time, I am also busy organizing my TESL 6 batch mini reunion which will be held on the 29th of November. Tough thing to do to get all approx 90 of us together at the same time since all of us now have our own life and also we are all scattered all over the world. So me and Bobo who is helping me get this thing going, tough. I told them that it is easier for me to handle a RM800k event rather than this..We have been changing the plans to accomodate, till one of my fellow TESLian told me to just go on with it and not to try to accomodate. I guess I am just that la..I would go out of my way to make other people happy although I have to cross the seven seas.. literally.We had altered the plan like 6 million times just to accomodate everyone. However, we are determined to make it work and people who knows me know how determined I am. Will post pictures to share with all of you after the event. Kinda excited to see some of them who we have not seen for 10 years!! Its a pity that some of my kakis like Intan who is in a the Kingdom of Dubai, Ray and Roy who has commitments that they couldn't slide their way through. Its gonna be really exciting and noisy. It has been a known fact when TESLians get together, the rock the house down. Even when we were in Uni, you can always locate a TESLian amongst the group. I guess our loudness and outspokeness is evident indeed. Kinda miss Uni years where we need not have to think much about adult stuff, just constantly enjoying the moment and the cool company. Best!!

Our trip to Penang was good. The flight was good accomodation was really nice, we were even upgraded to the Junior Suite. We had like what we call our mini honeymoon, just the two of us. Had a blast just reminising and spending quality time together. We make a point to go on "US" outings at least once a year. Next if rezeki lebih we would love to go to Krabi or Koh Sa Moi or Bandung or somewhere out of Malaysia. Insyallah if time permits. We had loads of fun going round the Island in our rented ride and just spending quality time together. We indulge ourselves to massage sessions and also makan makan and makan. I am just a fan of Penang food.. went to Gurney Drive to eat our fave food. Me and my Char Kuey Tiaw, Muar Chee - wow!!, Rojak Buah and Fried Oyster....drool drool amd met up with our Passembur geng, Adlil's Favourite. We went to the Feringghi market like every night we were there even saw the upcoming Hard Rock Hotel that is currentle in construction. Hopefully it will be ready by the time we have Rock to Rock so that we can go to Penang again but this time on our bike.

Getting late now.. really have been tiring week. Gonna try to catch up with some sleep. Tomorrow planning to cook a welcome home dinner with the kids for Adlil. Hope that I'll be able to share some pictures with you on the activity the next time around. Cheerio!!

The 11th Year

2008-11-19T09:05:00.007+08:00

A lot of things has happened since the last time I checked in here..my humble office is ready for action..Qyra had her final kindi concert..& what a night it was for my little princess....Alief nervously sat for his final 4th year exam....As for Ryan, well lets just say that everyone is playing catch up with the little dude....me & wifey did some pretty exciting stuff...Penang was one hell of a trip. But nothing beats today cause this was the date that changed my life forever..........the day we tied the knot. Exchanging vows & promising each other that we're gonna grow old together & become soulmates.

Soraya had stuck by me even when the chips were down...yet still kept believing in me that nothing is impossible. She showed me the true spirit of going against the odds & making me a better man. Sure we all have our ups & down in marriage...who doesn't? ...its the making up session that I think we all enjoy the most...! anyway what I'm trying to say is I truly love this woman that I've married 11 years ago .

Could still remember the first time I laid my eyes on her & knew she was the one. Her charm, personality & her beautiful smile was all it took to make me realise that I want to be with this woman for the rest of my life.

Thank you for being a wonderful & loving wife. Thanks for wanting to have kids with me....3 of them. You 're a great mom to the kids & I just love you for everything that you are .

Happy Anniversary To My Wifey!!!!!!!!!

An Exciting 11 Years Voyage of Love

2008-11-17T23:03:00.009+08:00

Blissfully Exciting. That is how I sum up my marriage of 11 years. Today is our 11th Year Anniversary. Pewhh, how time flies, 11 years my friends and still going strong. I guess when your hubby is more than just a hubby, its a different journey all together. Adlil has been my best friend, my staunch supporter, my gossip buddy, my number one fan, my shoulder to cry on, my pillar of strength..my everything.
We have been through hell and back and that is without a doubt. Some people are even amazed on how tight we are even after all these years. I myself believe that a marriage that does not go through stormy weather and is a smooth sail all the way - really not my definition of an intense, tight solid marriage. No element of adventure, not my cup of tea. We both have always been the one that are more of a go getter type so my marriage of 11 years has been all that. Full of adventure and love..
I guess what makes my marriage life so blissful is that Adlil and I share the same passion and we take time to appreciate each other, share the same interest, take the initiative to learn and understand each other and take pride in each other's leisure pursuit. We are also ardent fans of each other, we support each other's infactuation. Our love for each other is so strong and keeps getting stronger as day goes by..So you know how intense we are towards each other..

I really consider myself as being blessed having a husband as supportive, loving and tolerant as Adlil. I'm amazed at how much he believes in my talent and capabilities, more than I could ever imagine. He never stops me from exploring and to him the sky is the limit for me. He constantly encourages me and has always raise my spirits. He has faith in me more than I do most of the time. He never fails to make me feel how special I am. For the past 11 years, Adlil has taught me to believe in myself and has showered me with unconditional love. He is and will always be my hero. His tolerance level with me is just amazing. He has taught me the real meaning of life and appreciating what you have thus enjoying the moment as it comes. That you need to believe in yourself and your instinct to make everything work which is so true.
Thank you for being such a wonderful Papa to our 3 kids. You have been great in being a Papa who tries his utmost best to always be there for them and catching them when they fall. You try so hard to keep everything together and trust me, you have succeeded in doing so. You are indeed a great father to our children and we could not ask for more.
Honne, thank you for giving me the best 11 years of my life and I love you more than you could ever imagine. We are destined for eternity and forever is where we are heading. Thanks for all that you have done for me and you are my eternal soulmate. I thank my lucky stars that I hav you for keeps. My love for you is rock solid and I am so lucky to have you to wake up next to every morning and that puts a smile on my face. Looking foward to more happening years to come for the both of us.

A lil something for you, straight from the heart...

Adlil, you do not know how thankful I am;

To be sharing a lifetime with you,

You are my pillar of strength,

I remember the times that you've been there for me

And I see how your care, love and wisdom

Have helped me through

I look back on all the times we had spent together,

The tears, laughter, happiness sorrow,

Reminds me how much we have always meant

For each other, always and forever,

Honne, I love you more than life; you are my life

Happy 11th Anniversary Sayang..

Here's to eternity...here's to forever...

Homemakers Out There, You Guys Rock!!!

2008-10-19T23:05:00.011+08:00

Sorry everyone for not being able to write lately. I keep telling myself that "tonight I am Going to write" but by the time Ryan is settled, I will be so extremely tired that I also get myself "settled". I am one of those people that loves to write and be it on paper or on the comp, I find writing very relaxing and such a stress buster. This past 2 weeks has been extremely taxing. With my teaching, housework I just do not have space for anything else. On top of that Alief is having his Final Year End Exam and I was busy coaching him.

Like today, I am home alone with the Kids. Mak is in KL and My Adlil went riding with his Harley Buddies to watch the Sepang Motor GP and some other things in between. That's him having his ME time. However, the weather is not too good and I will be here at home worried sick like I usually do when he goes for these day trips as it is tiring and the weather now is no help either. I would usually wait up and will only be able to sleep only when he is safe home. He'll tell be sharing it with all of you soon. He has been extremely busy with work and especially the kids. He has been wanting to write and says that he has been too busy and tired by the end of the day. Oh Yes, I was also busy helping him putting things together organizing things around for his office. I had fun doing it since I know he's very proud of his office. Now, his office is all set up and ready to go. That I will leave to him to talk about his new office. Donno what I will do without him, its amazing how he manages to keep everything together. I love him to bits for that.
My utmost respect to all the Homemakers out there, especially to our non working mothers. Now, I know that the work of a homemaker is so much under rated. Really guys, it is a lot of hardwork and patience. Amazing!! Hats off to all maidless homemakers. Honestly, since my maid is out of the picture, I appreciate homemakers who function without maids. I appreciate what they are doing and their hard work. Mind you, its not and easy task, putting it together and still regain your sanity at the end of the day. Homemakers are really under rated and under appreciated. People tend to think that a Homemaker's job is easy, very Tai Tai like, lepak at home, go pick up the kids, cook, go to the Spa (NOT!!), and lil bit of this and that. How bad can it be compared to an accountant's, engineer's job. At least for these jobs you do not work 24-7, but a Homemaker is on 'standby' 24-7, its more complex n taxing than you could ever imagine possible. Being a house wife is like any other profession. If you want it to work you need to run it like a well oiled machine. Which includes every element I need to feel like I am functioning at my best, I try really hard though being a part time homemaker (coz I still work what for 3 days a week) and boy it is not easy being a Home Operations Manager, mummy and wife. Still I consider myself lucky having my mum around and Adlil who are so much of help. Life is not so dandelife. Some days I say I can't complain and other days I think I feel miserable. A lot of moments during some of the days are good and I believe that we need to try to make it good or life becomes meaningless.

Just to share with all of you; yesterday, I had an interesting chat with my very very olddddd schoolmate. We practically went to 11 years of school together. It has been like donkey years since I last spoke or even met her. What started off as a what seems to be like a casual chat as she wanted to get someone to do up a 3D cake like what Ryan had for his 1st Birthday, went on for an hour or so. She use to practice medicine but quit her job as she couldn't get anyone reliable to take care of her toddlers. It was interesting to hear her daily run down of her schedule and she's not really having it easy with her kids and now she says the only time she goes out of the house is to perform "children related chores". How true, when you are a full time Homemaker, your life revolves around the chores, kids and the home. Regaining sanity is pretty absurd!! Thank god I make a point to have some ME time doing my thingy and hanging out with my friends every now and then just to unwind and get away from the routine. Kudos to all homemakers around the world!! No matter how people think you job is easy, I can vouch against that.
I am up for a really busy week with Alief's exams and work. I will also be busy with coaching Qyra who will sit for her Primary One streaming exam, her Art Class exam and her Final Year End Concert which she has been practising so hard on. As for myself, I have also some writing that is long overdue to complete, which I have been procrastinating not because I am lazy but because I cannot find the time to really sit down and do it. Now I wish that there are more hours in a day. I still have a pile of laundry waiting to be folded and organized. Sigh....Here's to a crazy week ahead guys..

Racial Sentiments..Very Unlikely

2008-10-11T23:48:00.008+08:00

I had never grew upor brought up having racial sentiments towards other races. I respect and tolerate other people's religion as I was brought up not to ever to have prejudism or any racial sentiments towards ant race. No worries, this entry would not be some crappy racist entry but more of how we should respect each other as human beings not because of our colour.

I really do not understand how people can be racist or prejudice and not tolerate other people's belief and race. Why I say that is because, this year alone I had encountered this sticky situation, twice. I find it hard to reconcile in my brain, how can we, Malaysians, living in a multicultural community can become intolerant to one's belief. How can a person be labelled incompetent and unsuitable for a job, not because of his or her ability, experience, competencies, education background or other related capabilities in seeking for a job, but rather be access due to his/her race. Funny isn't it but reality bites, that is what had happened to me, my friends.

Take for instance this one scenario that I have experienced. I was contacted via email urging me to call to set up an interview for this job that I enquired on. So, I did just that, called them up. Then, they told me that they were looking foward to meet up and have an interview with me. So, to cut the story short, I was set with an interview, the following day. When I arrived at the premise, I went up to the receptionist to introduce myself and asked to see the HR Manager that I had an appointment with. I handed her my CV together with duplicated copies of my certs. She then noted down my name, took my resume and told me to sit down while she called the person that I was scheduled to see, to know the next course of action. At first, I could hear her voice telling the other person on the line, that I was already at the lobby. Then, out of sudden, I felt like her voice was getting softer by the second and by the end of it all, I couldn't decipher what she was mumbling over the phone.

10 Minutes passed...nothing, no reaction from anybody. I waited anxiously for any movement or for someone to call out my name or whatsoever. I kept looking at the receptionist but I could see that she was trying to avoid whatsoever eye contact with me. Hmm..something smells fishy but I was still optimistic, hey..they were the one who were so anxious and persistent that I come for the interview. Tak pe Ya, wait so more, but I felt really uncomfortable with the "chi" that I am sensing across the room. I continued to pretend to be oblivious to my surrounding and continue reading intensely to a 2004 issue of some crappy Free Health Magazine. However, I didn't fail to notice that there were no Malays in the whole organization except for the cheerful tea lady who was kind enough to offer me a drink.

20 minutes passed, now I am getting kinda irritated that my presence seems to be ignored, like I was just some potted plant sitting at one corner looking pathetic. So, I decided to go up to the receptionist and asked, how long more I had to wait and who was I supposedly waiting for me. Not even wanting to establish eye contact, this A-Moi dresses very the Ah-Lian like said to the monitor of her computer, You wait aaa, they got meeting..

I almost gave up after 45 minutes of waiting (yeahh, I was that tolerant) when that A-Moi of Receptionist said to me, Miss, You wait at Room No 3. I looked around and asked her. "And where is that?" Still my eyes was still wondering around looking for room No 3, just incase it was in my face but I was too annoyed to notice it. She said "You go straight, turn right and when you see the blue door, don't go in, walk straight and you open the door next to the black door, go up the stairs and Room No 3 is the no-3 room on your left" I paused for a while trying to get it all into my head. So I said to her, "up the stairs and its the 3rd room on my left". She said no3 room..I said to my self..Duhhh Bite Me!!

Then finally I was in Room 3. It was a small cubicle sized room filled with boxes of god knows what. I could have sworn I smell the odour of a dead lizard. After again waiting for 15 minutes, to muy surprise, the HR Manager was the chick that was seating two tables behind the receptionist. She wasn't in a meeting, she was there all along and didn't move an inch throughout my waiting there.

She didn't establish positive eye contact and her body language was very hostile. So, I said, what the heck, I wasn't keen in joining this moronic Organization even if it paid me 1/2 a mil monthly. So, not wanting to hold back anymore, I said " Don't mind me asking but why is that everyone here seems very hostile and unfriendly? Do you have anything against me? Look, I didn't want this job, you guys came looking for me, so what's the deal?". She paused, looked up to me and said "Actually we donno you are a Malay, I thot you are Eurasian, you sound like that..You English too good for Malay." I was beyond stunned although I could see that it was coming from the very beginning? Huh? Nursoraya Abd Rahman sounds Eurasian to you??? She paused and said "But your email and the way you talk on the phone like Eurasian, then when you come you are a Malay with tudung, so we donno what to do. Our Boss don't LIKE Malays working here.

Ya Rabbi at that time I felt like slapping the bitch and passing some sarcastic remarks , but I said to myself, No I am not going to be as petty as they are. So, I asked to see the GM or whoever is in charge. She had no choice but to oblige. So, to cut the story sort I went in to see him and he told me that the CEO didn't like Malays working for him. I said why? He said very leceh, a lot of excuses, cannot do work cannot speak English well, cannot interact well. Then I said to him :then, what do you call me then and wow your English is certainly beyond impressive??" He was perplexed beyond words..I gave him a piece of my mind which all sums up to - You live in my f#$^&*@ country and your CEO is making money from the resources and my people and how there you instill such racial sentiments in your company. You should have this sign at your lobby " No Malaus beyond this point" Makes things easy for my people and I don't have to waste my time waiting like a dumb fool. He has that dumbfonded look, and I left..

I left the company feeling annoyed, not because I didnt get the job but more of why on earth is this still happening in our country, and this a multi-national company owned by a foreigner making the big bucks from our people, our country.. This was my 3rd experinece encountering racial sentiments siruations like this. Ya Allah, never imagined how these people capitalize on us yet look down on our people not more than just a speck. I felt beyong insulted..spasm to the max..

Like Mr President as I would like to call him, Obama, I feel for him, everyday he's dealing with crap like this, I feel for him. Being coloured, underestimated and ridicule are some of the many crap he is facing everyday, day in day out and even constant death threats. I have high respect towards him and I know, he's the Man who would finally make a difference.

Comments anyone?

Raya with The Harfy Bunch

2008-10-06T23:54:00.013+08:00

I guess everyone is still in the Raya mood. As for me, this Raya, is full of mixed emotions..full of complexity. I have to admit, I had fun celebrating Raya as for the first time in 10 years or so, my 2 sisters and I plus the other half and the 7 Bambinos ( Kakak's 4, Ours 3) got together to celebrate Raya with Mak. Mak was really excited and happy to have us all at the same time together with her grandchildren. It was written all over her face. For that, I am glad.

On Hari Raya morning, I was woken up by the smell of Mak's Beriyani and rendang. Delicious..yum yum. Got my boys, Adlil and Alief ready for sembahyang Raya. Ironed their sampings and all. There after when they came back, they had makan Raya - ketupat pulut, beriyani, lemang and rendang. Then when everyone was ready (we had to get the kids ready first ). Ryan looking all adorable with his baju Melayu and Songkok Bujal and Qyra looking princessly pretty in her baju Kurung. Then, it was salam Raya time. It started off with Mak, my sisters, B-I-L and then the Harfy Bambinos followed by the nephews and nieces. Then came the finale, really don't why this year I was teary eye when I seek forgiveness from Adlil, usually I do feel sedih but this year is a bit different. I guess it is because this year has been quite a challenging year for me, I got all soppy and slushy this year. I guess that's good, it is sincere, comes straight from the heart. Corny, but it does makes you realize all the things that you have done, a moment of reflection...Deep..

After that, we headed down to Ayah's grave at Mahmoodiah. I guess is also happy to have us all visit him all at the same time. All over us were all trying to contain ourselves, not to cry but the atmosphere is really sombre. I really realize how much I miss him and hoping that he is happy as we want him to be. Amin.

Then we headed down to Kak Antein's house over at Kampung Melayu. As usual, we would eat, drink, gossip and ridicule each other - Bobby, Olin, Hannah, Ijal, Adlil, My Sisters, Pak Mat Tongkol, Kak Eda, Yus and all. Seeing all our Aunts, Uncles, Toks and Neneks made us realize that we will reach that point in time, sooner that we expected. While chit chatting, we were actually trying to picture how would we be like when we are in our 50s or 60s. Simultaneously agreed that we will be just as loud, bitchy, laser and the swearing rawkss on. the last time we had everyone all together was during Zaza's and Fifi's Wedding. The amount of noise and the mockery that took place was out of this world. Didn't bother to watch our tongue, just went on shooting our victims with our bullets. Best gila.. Hehehhee. You should experienced being with us, its mind blowing..full of noise and sarcasm all over the place. These are people that you will grow old with...simply divine. Lepak there till before Maghrib where we headed home to just relax. Our whole family just wanted to go home rather than go visiting. We also had to pack since tomorrow, The Harfy Bunch, Mak & Mackie will be heading up to Malacca where we will be taking Mak and the kids for a short break. Kakak and her family will be heading to Negeri Sembilan to my B-I-L's kampung. Adlil will be filling you up on the details to the trip, while I summarize the whole Raya week in this entry.

The next morning we went to Hwa Mui at Taman Sutera Indah (yup, its the new branch) coz, my B-I-L kept thinking of the Mee Goreng Mamak, simply delicious. Just two days before Raya, we brought them for berbuka there - Yup all 13 of us!!. So, we decided to go there again since, there is no Hwa Mui in KL, so better fufill my B-I-L's craving. We started off by ordering 15 sets of Roti Bakar, all of us had our main dish of our choice and at the end of it all, we were contentedly stuffed to even move.

So, we made our way to Malacca and surprisingly the traffic wsn't that bad untill we got to Malacca town. My goodness, it was jammed from just after the Ayer Keroh toll plaza till the waterfall/feature inter-junction. Other than that, we had a lot of fun there in Malacca only that we always found the roads in Malacca being a bit "challenging" despite the numerous times that we have been there. Honestly, I have always had this thing for Malacca. To me its really a nice almost clean city. It has that modern facilities but still restoring the authenticity of the historical city. Kudus to too the government of Malacca whom in my opinion, did a good job in developing Malacca to the way it is. There was one period that I was constantly bugging Adlil to move to Malacca since we both equally like the place but reality check.. I guess not now. Like my aunt who lives in Malacca said, it is a nice place to grow old in. I guess I'll be revisiting that idea again when the kids are all grown up..We had fun while staying at the Everly Resort which has just been renovated. Nicely made up with new coat of paint and some improvisation of the facilities.

By 5pm the next day, we were on our way to Beranang where our in laws were all eagerly waiting for the arrival of the Harfy Bunch. M-I-L cooked Lodeh which happens to be my favourite Hari Raya indulgence. Did not go anywhere - beraya and all, only went to Mid Valley the next day to get some stuff and bought Adlil's youngest brother Irfan's birthday present. Unfortunately, we had to go back earlier than expected. We had to drive back to JB at about midnight, that day as Adlil had some last minute function set-up that needed his technical expertise.

Well, I guess The Harfy Bunch had a reasonably fun Raya. Raya to me now is more to the kids' enjoyment and fancy. To me it is more of a time for reflection and spending quality time with family. Hope you guys had a great Raya, we did.

A Dash of Everything

2008-09-24T22:14:00.026+08:00

Salam fellow friends. My apologies for not writing in a while. Been pre-occupied with a lot of upcoming events as well as my new office. Yup! My new office is almost done. The cubicle, partition and chosing furniture is done. Today, is the last round of painting to do as me and my boys will give it a final layer of paint. I am really excited about it. Will post pictures of the office once is all made up. Gotta say a big shout out to my staff of Suara Rasa namely Acul, Ohm & Naim for helping out. Could've not done it with out u guyz...alamak almost forgot to thank my bro Trex for the fine finishing & areas that only he could reached - the advantages of having a taller brother!!

Hari Raya is almost around the corner. Wifey hasn't really been a fan of Hari Raya especially when we beraya in JB. I feel for her and I understand what she is feeling. Don't really blame her though. I know its hard for her, my S-I-L and my M-I-L to go through Hari Raya without feeling the void. So, I try my very best to ensure that she's happy on Hari Raya. Thank God for the kids I guess she has learn that she needs to shift her energy to the kids. So my bet is for this year mcm biasa after semayang Hari Raya we'll probably go to Mahmodiah & visit my F-I-L 's grave , then off to Kak Antien's house & spend almost half the day there. We'll chit chat..almost everybody from my wifey's family will be there. I would probably stuff my belly till it exploded. You see, before this, my wifey's grandma used to stay with us so in their family tree she is considered the O-tai of the pack so on Hari Raya everyone will be there. I can still remember when grandma was still around we couldn't even get out from the house..& I mean the 1st Hari Raya we really do not get to go anywhere. Now, that she has left us to be with Allah. Kak Antein's house has always been a favourite with relatives as one of the reason being is she serves..yummy food since Tok Dad is also not around. Glad that Nikki is out of the hospital, for the second time. Nikki, our prayers are always with you..

I also do think of Ayah especially when I was just getting to get to know him better. Before he passed on, we were clicking quite well and I really regret not been given more time to get to know him better. He is a great man with a really good heart. He has taught me quite a bit about life and appreciating your family. Ayah, I just want to know that I am doing my best to keep the family going and looking after Mak as best as I could. I believe on the saying that "only The Good Die Young". So, part of me I am glad that he is at better place, where a man of his good nature deserves to be.

Now, as promised I'll fill you in on my hometown Beranang. Who says that life in the Kampung is "cheap"? Well that statement cannot be applied for life at Beranang. I have to admit that I love to go back there to experience the serene and calm surroundings that you don't really get when you are in town. I love spending time ZZzzzzZZZzzzz there. Total relaxation.

Why do I say that it isn't that cheap to live in my Kampung? I guess that can be applied to other kampungs but not mine. My dad has been complaining that things in Beranang are expensive. We also realize that but didn't think too much of it coz if sometimes we need to buy some marketing stuff for Mak, we'll do it in TESCO, Econ Save or Jusco all of it about a max of 20 mins drive to get there. Didn't really think there was a vast difference untill we experienced it first hand while buying for berbuka at Beranang's Ramadhan Bazaar .

Ya Allah, everything was so expensive compared to JB where we can still buy kuih for 4 for RM1 or the common 3 For RM1. This is Beranang a small kampung. I can still accept it if it was in KL or some big city but this is beyond reasonable for Beranang. You would think that everything is cheap since it is to cater to all the Makciks and Pakciks, but NOT!! The kuihs are all sold at RM 2 for 5 pieces. The sizes of the kuihs are much smaller compared to the ones in JB and the best part that I cannot reconcile in my brain is that not only it is RM 2 for 5 pieces but they actually cut a piece of squared kuih (the common size sold nationwide) into two - check out the pc above, sorry hlf of the portion missing, it went into my tummy before Soraya decided to take a pic of it. So basically the picture is half kuih short for RM2 for kuih in Beranang). So, what is a piece in JB or for that matter any where I could think of, is 2 pieces in Beranang. My Soraya and I went on and on complaining even to the kuih sellers that it is so ridiculously expensive. To make matters worst, tak la sedap mana and mahal melampau!!

However, the sate at Beranang Cafe is something that you must have if you are here. Very juicy, succulent and delicious. It is 50 sen a piece but its really nice so we don't really complain as I think that is the universal price for Sate now. The Roti Canai here is our favourite too..well my Soraya & Alief actually craves the roti canai everytime we would balik kg. Typical kampung roti canai. Make sure you try it if you happen to pass Beranang, They usually start selling at about 5 pm till late night. While we were there, My Soraya managed to drag me out of the house at 2am to have the Roti Canai for Sahur, which she was really looking foward to having even before we arrived.

I am sure that some of you did recieve this email that was meant to be a joke as it shows that this joint coined its name from the famous coffee joint, Starbucks. Everyone says that it is in either Kelantan or Terengganu but today, I'll state my claim that it is situated at my kampung, Beranang. But there is something peculiar about Setarbak Kopi is that it isn't really a coffee joint and right up till now, we don't really know their main nature of business coz it is never opened. If it is, there will only be a small portion ...something is definitely going down in there. (look at the pic above).

Psst : We think that it is doing some "funny" business, but no one knows that for sure anf the regular O-Tai is just not telling..hmm we'll further investigate and let u know ok ;-).

I went riding with my fellow Motorheads last Saturday for berbuka at Umbai. Only eight of us were there...let see there was me, Sham, Awie, Fendi on his new ride, a Road King he just bought from Azman.., Arman, Brader Amir, whom I just met & Azmi. So, there we were at Petronas Skudai around 4.15pm hoping that others will come but after a while & a few phone calls it was only the seven of us that would be going on the berbuka ride. Ooops make it six,..Azmi only rode with us till Ayer Hitam cause he was going to spend the weekend with his family in Kluang, furthermore was his daughter, Dini's birthday.

It was great having the wind up in your face again & blasting down the highway to Umbai. This ride actually is a must for me during Ramadhan..I mean eventhough with being the month of Puasa it doesn't mean we can't go out for rides. Some say that its a bit too far to go there for buka puasa but as the old saying goes "its not the destination, but the journey". We arrived in Umbai at around 6.30pm. The place was packed with people who wanted a taste of fresh seafood with a reasonable price. This the only place that you would eat nasi lemak with a variety of seafoods. As we were there eating our way two fellow Melaka Harley bikers Zaini & one other guy (whom I forgot his name on his sportster) came & joined us. After a while we decided to head out to Melaka town to check out the scenes there on a Saturday night. We came to a spot where we had our drinks or "ngeteh" & after a while it was time to go home.

We were off to Ayer Keroh & made our exit there to JB. We reached JB around 1 am & Alhamdullilah on this trip, no mishap happened as all of us came back home in one piece. By the way I managed to tapow the nasi lemak ( 5 bungkus actually ) to share it with the Harfy bunch.I also managed to treat my staff for Suara Rasa's Ramadhan ritual; berbuka treat - SEAFOOD GALORE last Friday at Gelang Patah. This has been a ritual eversince I had my company to make a point to break fast all with my Suara Rasa clan together with my first born Alief who had 2 plates full. Enjoyed the session. We had good food and good company.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin To All My Brothers and Sisters especially fellow bikers all over the world!!

Raya oooo Raya Sigh

2008-09-22T23:35:00.012+08:00

Firstly, thanks to all of you for the comments via the page as well 12 via my personal email on my previous piece. I really felt so good after writing that piece coz that goes to show that I am at peace with myself. Totally mind blowing. I guess sometimes dealing with it out loud does help and you know what, I have cane to a point where I do not remember anything about the lost friendship, just a name and a face. I have moved on and left that moronic phase away from my life, entirely. Alhamdullilah

To all my buddies and friends, thanks for your support and words of wisdom. It is really refreshing to know that you really have friends who actually care and that they genuinely feel for you. Zett you'll always be my best pal, buddy and mate no matter what. That will always stay and has never changed. You and me, match made in heaven. You're total coolness.

My dear Intan, you could never ever be my doormat. You are too precious and I love ya all to bits. Our friendship has stormed the weather and been through hell and back. The beauty of it all, it is still solid rock intense. Wouldn't trade you and the friendship for the whole. Iza, Era, Reen, Pet, Ray..my precious buddies. Hani, thanks for being a nice friend and I really appreciate the friedship. Love you a whole bunch babe!

Well, Raya is just around the corner. As you guys know, the tailor screwed up on my baju Raya. So we had to purchase one for Qyra which she chose on her own and she is so excited with her baju Raya. Last weekend, I was already going through my closet looking for clothes to wear that will match our 2008 Raya theme colour which is maroonish pinkish (aah, you'll see them when we post the picture soon). Then, to my surprise My Adlil was sweet enough to surprise me with a new Baju Raya, complete with our theme colour. Thanks honne, you're an angel.

Raya used to be an enjoyable time for me. The whole fuss about preparing for Raya was very much awaited. Mak would be busy in the kitchen making her yummy kuih raya while listening to Raya songs on the radio. Now its really not the same, it has somewhat lost its magic. Now, I look at Hari Raya in a whole different prespective. Hari Raya being a time where we celebrate our acheivements for completing the Ramadhan month.

I guess now look foward more to Ramadhan because I know during that time Ayah will be around, coming back home to be with us. Since 2001, Hari Raya especially at Mak's place has been quite sombre and solemn. In JB, we celebrate Raya on a very low note. It is not that we do not want to celebrate Raya like we use to but I guess that feeling has been buried together with 2001.

Yup 2001 was indeed a year that totally changed our lives around. Our beloved Ayah left us in a hasten manner that it was hard for us to accept it. I went on for months trying to accept the fact that he's gone for good. I still get teary eye when I talk about him and how he went away. To me, Ayah was the greatest dad anyone could ever have. He is totally awesome and I have always been quite close to him. He tolerates my crap most of time and gives in whenever he feels like it which is quite often. Even my closest friends think that he's so cool and tremendously great.

Ayah has always been the one providing us with anything that money can buy. He would never dissapoint us and he would always spoil us; my sisters and my mum. I am so grateful that Ayah had the chance to share his love with my first born, Alief. He use to spoil him rotten. He would always buy him designer clothes and if there was any kind of food that he seems to enjoy, he would buy a truck full of it. There was one period of time when Alief liked Pringles. You knwo what he did? He bought literally dozens of Pringles at one go that Alief came to a point that he didn't want to even want to take a second look at it anymore. When I commented that he was spoiling Alief too much by buying him expensive clothes and stuff, he looked at me and said - He is my grandson, I will buy him what I want, you don't question me ok. You buy him whatever you want and can afford but I'll buy him what he deserves. I really didn't understand what it meant at that time but now I did - Alief is his grandson and he deserves the best.

The image of the last time I laid my eyes on him at Pan Pacific KLIA is still very fresh in my mind. That million dollar look when I stepped in the room and saw him after being away performing his umrah. That peaceful look that I saw in him is priceless. If I knew that would be the last time I would ever see him again, I would never allow him to leave for home. Initially, I was in denial, I couldn't accept the fact that he was gone. There's so much of what if in me that was unanswered and I guess that was why at that time I could not be at peace with the fact that he has passed on to a better place. I miss him a lot and I know he's looking after us. Ayah, we miss you terribly and I want you to know that you are the best Ayah anyone could ever dream of.

Then again, I think that it is not fair to the kids for me to be so sombre of Hari Raya. Now, my only motivation and drive to celebrate Raya are my munchkins. They are the reason to put up a happy brave show to celebrate Raya. They like any kids their age love Hari Raya; all dresssed up with their Baju Raya together with their collection bag to keep their duit raya. Every year we will order a bunch of fireworks from my B-I-L's friend. We get it really cheap so usually 2-3 days before raya especially when Nana comes back, we'll start blowing them away. The Harfy Bunch have even pre-planned what they wanted to do with the portion that they are allowed to keep. They know that half of it goes to their bank account. Kids nowadays are getting smarter and calculative by the minute don't you think so.

This year, we will be celebrating Hari Raya with Mak. She's gonna cook her delicious Rendang Campur, yumm yumm together with her ketupat pulut. It will just be us, Mackie and Mak. We will probably go for a holiday somewhere together with Mak and Mackie, but now our problem is that almost all the hotels of our selected destination is fully booked. We are still looking and hopefully we'll find a place to stay.

We'll be going back to Beranang probably on the 3rd of Hari Raya for the weekend. My inlaws place is usually busy with visitors on the 1st to the 2nd of Hari Raya. My B-I-L will be joining us there. He'll be celebrating Hari Raya over in Kelantan (his wife's side). My sister will be in Perak and Negeri Sembilan celebrating with her in - laws. We take turns you see so this year is her turn to celebrate with her in-laws.

We just realized too that we have not bought much kuih Raya. Now we are looking frantically for nice edible kuih Raya to buy. Hope that my quest towards that this weekend will be deemed successful.

Hari Raya is a good time to reflect and think of the people our lives. For those you who still have their parents with them, appreciate and love them as much as you can. Tell them how much you love them and appreciate them. Give them a big hug and thank them for all that they have done for us.

To all, I would like to take this oppurtunity to say to all my family and friends,

"Kami Menyusun Sepuluh Jari, Memohon Ampun dan Maaf, Zahir dan Batin". Salam Eid Mubarak to all of you. May you all have a wonderful and enjoyable Raya. May we always have peace and love between us..

Mak Chu aka Mackie, This Is For You!!

2008-09-18T23:58:00.009+08:00

Here are pictures of Aeyen just for
his number one fan!!

Rise To The Occasion

2008-09-17T20:38:00.015+08:00

Just finished cooking for Sahur. Just simple dishes je. I thank my lucky stars that my two heroes, My Adlil and Alief are such easy people to satisfy when it comes to food, very simple. Masak main2 hentam2 pun they'll appreciate it and eat, at least 2 plates, which gives me that wonderful feeling. Just today during buka, Alief said to me "Mama, your noodles are really nice, sedap" and that was just fried dried flat noodles. My mum also agrees that he is more adventurous to try new things when I cook. Because he doesn't do that when other people cook, not even my mum & M-I-L who cook way better than me. He is more appreciative when I cook for the family and that gives a huge sense of satisfaction.

Actually, I can cook quite well. It comes as a surprise to most people as they say I don't look like the type of chick that cooks. Even My Adlil (during our courting era) thought the same. He wasn't convinced that I was able to cook. Then, I invited him over at my bachelor pad during Uni Years and treated him for a meal. He loved what he ate and said it that he can actually propose to me at that moment, magical...hehhehehe. Hmm..I always say, "come over and let me cook for you, then you tell me whether I can cook or not". So far, the comments received are quite encouraging. I like to cook but I hate the 'mis en place' process and the cleaning after. Having a maid at least makes that easier but unfortunately I am not privilleged with that right now...sigh. However, I can't really bake cakes and all, no interest actually - Like to eat it though, but I do not mind pies, that I can and like to do.

Well, I think this entry is going to be quite lengthy as I am going to talk about the paradigm shifts in my life.

As you all know, we just got back from Beranang. Adlil wants to write about it so I'll leave it to him to do that. He is really busy with the setting up of his new office. Finished painting it and now the renovation works will take place. Tonight he'll be doing the wiring and some electrical stuff before some renovation work due tomorrow. Another thing is that Qyra and I are Baju Raya-less because the tailor screwed up big time on the measurement. She did it so big that practically the whole family can fit into it. I was beyond dissapointed that I couldn't "tiaw" her. So basically now we have to go and shop for baju Raya and the hard bit is that we need to find the same shade of this year's theme colour for the Harfy Bunch. The boys' Baju Melayu is all ready because all of theirs was done by M-I-L. Geram but what to do no choice but to go for the 2nd option, which is to purchase a new baju Raya for Me and Qyra. This year has been a very challenging Ramadhan with a lot of tests bestowed upon me but I am taking it positively, there's hikmah behind it.

I have been doing some serious soul - searching lately. About life, My Adlil, my career path, my family and friends. Sometimes, we tend to take for granted the things and people that are around us. This year has been a really really challenging year for me. All main aspects of my life had been given a test of endurance and loyalty. I learn to accept defeat and to take rejection with an open heart. At first I wasn't too receptive of rejection. I had too high of an expection of myself that when I do not acheive something or when things do not seem to go my way, I hit the ground really bad. I was such a control freak that I scare myself sometimes. Now I learn to let go. I learn not to try to grasp everything so tightly that when it slips, I go beserk and get all paranoid.

My career took a huge turn, I went from high and mighty to ground zero. I made the right choice to go on the road not taken and went through all sorts of 'adventures' and setbacks. Alhamdullilah, Allah showed me the way and now I am doing things that I really enjoy and the best bit is I have more time watching the kids grow. I guess I finally got my priority straight which has very much turned my life around. I learn to just settle for ok rather than constantly aiming for the very best all the time. Wanna know what? Ok is good.

As for friendship, I had a huge knock on my head that I was actually taken for a ride in this friendship that I embarked myself into three years back. I actually found out the hard way that I was just being used to a certain person's convenience or shall I say just like a door mat. For people who knows me, knows for a fact that I am friendly, outgoing, talkative and full of zest. I make friends easily and there was once my late Ayah told me-"I am not worried about you. I put you anywhere in the world, I know that you will be able to make friends in an instance and survive any given situations in life". Unfortunately, as for me I have failed to see that some people are constantly only coming to seek my friendship only to have that sense of belonging and sort of using me as a comforting blanket. I have always had trusting issues when it comes to trusting people with my ultimate friendship. I had so much bad experience with "user friendly" friends that I am more wary. Three years back I did that, I gave a person my loyalty, trust care and friendship. What I got back was ultimate betrayal. I guess my judgement was wrong. What I thought was true friendship was just a friendship of convenience.

The problem with me once I get that sync feeling with someone, I would welcome that someone to my entire world. I had to realize the really hard way that I was just a friend that gave people that sense of comfort and to always catch a friend before they fall. I guess when the need for all that is not needed anymore, you'd be taken for granted, just like a door mat - you need to wipe your feet when its wet and yucky but when you are all clean and dandy, you just walk pass witout noticing it. Sad but true. I really was miserable of the betrayal and went on for days crying, trying to find the answers to this mind-blogging mystery. Thank god Adlil was there to catch me before I fall flat on the ground. Now, I have moved on and left that dishearthening phase. Now, I don't think much of the lost friendship but instead I focus on the people who actually was there for me at that dark period of time.

As for my Adlil, I have to thank him for being there holding my hand, routing for me and believing in my capabilities more than I believed it myself. I know that I am very lucky to have Adlil as my soulmate as he is not just a husband, lover, a great father to my kids, best friend but also my number one fan who would always remind me what I am capable of doing. Sometimes as human being we take things and people we love for granted. I guess I do that too. Maybe I am too pre occupied with issues in my life that I do not take the time to just turn around to notice the things that is happening around me. This year, my relationship with Adlil has reached a mature level of understanding. We have grown more closer than we actually are when we learn to deal with issues rather than sweeping it under the carpet hoping that it will somehow not resurface. Trust me, it will and when it does, it gets shittier. To me, we do that it is not because we do not want to not deal with it but more of tolerating these issues. Even after 11 years of marriage, you will learn something new about your partner everytime. Adlil, thanks for always being there putting up with my shit and always believing in me.. You are just perfect, FOR ME!!

The kids taught me that sometimes you just need to pull the hand brake and not to be always on 5th gear because when you are going too fast, you do not notice or bother about the little things that are important, that you take for granted. The Kids taught me to slow down and enjoy the ride rather than slamming on the pedal, trying to get somewhere, but in actual fact, you are not going anywhere. Leaving the corporate world was indeed a blessing in disguise. People have asked me numerous time, why the sudden change of pace. I would always answer - Its my kids!! Now, I get to spend more time with them and I get to do a lot of things with them which I didn't before. I get to be a part of Ryan's growth and its amazing. I use to dread not having that constant adrenaline rush that I get from working but now I see all that as being redundant compared to what I am witnessing now with my bambinos.

Syukur Alhamdullilah, In 2008, I became wiser!!

Bulls Eye!!!

2008-09-12T01:59:00.016+08:00

Sorry that I've not been blogging for quite a while. Well there comes a time that u wanted to do things so much that its always on your freakin mind but u just couldn't manage to do it?...eventhough u keep reminding y'rself every single day? It happens to me all the time...I mean I dont know if it's me or does it happen to everyone else..?

I've just received the keys to my new office today & things were quite busy with work especially with now that I'm moving in into the new place. Got the paint ready & all. Went to recce some furniture for the office. Did all the measurements needed to set up the office.Tomorrow my boys and I got some serious painting to do, I want to do it with the boys so that we all we get that some sort like a sense of belonging & ownership. We would probably start after terawih & end up till sahur. The new joint is in Setia Indah..might be a bit far from home but at least I will get more mileage on the rides there. So you gotta say that this Ramadhan , will definitely be about getting the new place done before Raya. I will share some moments with the new joint with some pics in the next blog.
Just came back from "Yamca" with some of my biker friends. Initially I was going to meet up Azahary for a drink but ended up meeting with otai Kadir & Brahim in town. They heard us passing pass Jln Tebrau as they were having their drinks. Kadir gave me a call telling me where he was when I stopped at Tmn Sentosa , so we turned back & there we were at this place called LC Catering.
As for the Harfy bunch, Raiyan is getting more clingy to me since I have been more at home during Ramadhan. Alief & Qyra stepped up a ladder in their taekwando grading. After their grading last week Abang now is in Blue belt & Qyra Green 2. Very proud of my warriors in the making.

As for my Yaya well lets say she ended up her day with BIG BANG! While she was getting out from the kids' room downstairs she completely lost her footing trying to aviod little Ryan playing with the laundry basket right in front of the door. The next thing you know kaboom! My Yaya knock her her head against the edge wall. She suffered a cut just above the eye lid. Syukur...that knock didn't hit her straight in the eye. I mean she completely hit herself pretty hard against the edge of the wall, that she was in silence for a minute or so thrying to digest the pain. She's all patched up now & luckily no major stitches were needed..but the doc (who happens to look like Dr Wan Azizah) gave her a jab (Tetanus) on her right arm to prevent the eye from infection. .My Yaya seems to be bumped out and freaked out about the whole thing most especially because the knock will leave a scar on top of her left eye just before Hari Raya. I'm just so thankful that she's alright & no other serious injuries occured.

Tomorrow my S.I.L & B-I-L and their bambinos will be in JB to spend the weekend here & I'll be going balik kampung to visit my mum on Saturday. Gotta say that it will be a busy & fun weekend for the Harfy Bunch.

Here, There Everywhere!!

2008-09-09T20:51:00.016+08:00

First, we would like to apologize for not being able to post new news as much as we want to. We have been really really busy. With the current situation in the Harfy Household. I'll update you on my galavanting escapade last Sunday with the Kids. The new library situated at Jalan Yahya Awal was really great. The Kids and I really had fun. A lot of activities to keep the kids occupied.The collection of books that's available is quite impressive. They have the whole collection of Candice Bushnell, Jeff Archer and a whole lot of other good author. There is even a cafe where one can read and have a cuppa at the same time. Ask Adlil, I was very impressed with the collection, good ones. I could stay there for hours, reading. Borrowed some good books too!! The whole Harfy Bunch has their own library card.

As for the Danga City Mall, hmm, its ok la. Not as what I expected it to be. The Metrojaya is the only consolation for that place. Not many shops are opened. As I observe, roughly only 30% occupied. The Metrojaya is something like the one in Section 14. The othe shops are mostly Ah Lian and Ah Beng apparel shops. There is this "supermarket" concept on the LG Floor called SongMart. It's more of Kulai, Simpang Renggam kinda supermarket but the prices are quite cheap. On the concourse area is mostly shoe stores. I heard the bowling alley is in operation but I didn't get the chance to peep through. There's an optical shop, a few apparel outlets. They have their own (Danga Bay) merchandise shop, where they sell in-house items. They also have like a mini area at the main entrance of the mall, where they promote their Petting Zoo in Danga Bay. We managed to see a parrot, Honey Bear, snake and a tiger..they put up for show and picture taking too. To be honest, there's nothing much to shout about but an effort well applaud for revamping the mall from a white elephant to another variety for Johoreans to shop. However, in my opinion, they need to work on promoting the mall more so that it won't loses it hype. More events should be held there, since they have a lot of space to offer. They should open up more eateries if the want to attract people coz as far as I seen, there's only 2, One Kopitiam and a cafe. I really like The Metrojaya though, it has that KL feel lah..

I haven't been well for the past two days. Me and my migraine, something that I have been carrying with me since I reached puberty. I guess people who have migraine would feel for me. The throbbing pain is just to much to bear when it attacks. It actually "went away" for a couple of years but lately, I have been getting it quite frequently. I hate it when it happens because I just do not like it that I am not able to take control the pain. It takes one person who has migraine to understand the pain that I have to endure.

Believe it or not, time seems to be passing so rapidly. We have undergone 10 days of fasting and Alhamdullilah, everything has gone on well, especially for Abang who has not even once complained or what not coz he seems to enjoy the concept of fasting and the satisfaction of berbuka. `

We will be going back to Beranang on Saturday. Its my M-I-L's birthday this Friday so, we are going back to Kampung to celebrate her birthday and berbuka there. I'll take some pictures of Adlil's Kampung to share with all of you in my post next week. Atmosphere there is very much serene and very relaxing. Really like it there especially for me who never had a Kampung ever before I married Adlil. However, we all agree that being there for long period of time is a bit unproductive. There's not much activity that can one can do there. The "orang kampung" or the villagers there are usually in the range of 50 and above. Too laid back. You do not see people of my age group there unless during Hari Raya. That is when Jalan Enam Kaki becomes busy, Very Happening with the fireworks, noise, colours and all. We would usually just lay back and relax when we are there. My In Laws have 2 Big Mangosteen Trees (there is a history to why Pokok Manggis of all trees which, I'll amuse you on that the next time).

Putrajaya, Kajang & Seremban are some of the neighbouring town, if you need to shop or what not. Nilai Tiga, the much talked about place to shop for materials and curtains n such, is only a 15 minutes drive from Adlil's Kampung, Jalan Enam Kaki. You can get a lot of nice materials and a vast range of materials for Curtains. A few big toy shops and a lot of furniture as well as Car Accessories shop are availabke at Nilai 3. There was once when there was much hype about the place, my 3 S-I-L (Biras) and I will go there almost everyday. There was once we went there 3 times in the same day!!! Each time bringing at least 2-3 plastic bags of stuff.

For those who do not know where on earth Beranang is , Beranang is actually situated at the territory of Selangor as it is the border of Selangor and Negeri Sembilan. Our Kampung is actually the border that they have set as the border. Next door to our kampung is the Staffield Golf Resort and the infamous Tuanku Ja'afar College (KTJ). You know what, the word Beranang was actually a Negeri Sembilan slang for the word "Berenang". Good lesson learnt today. Got this piece of excerpt from Wikipedia on the history of Beranang -

"Beranang mendapat nama dari loghat Negeri Sembilan yang bermaksud 'berenang'. Enam sahabat yang diketuai oleh Tok Batin Lidah Hitam terpaksa berenang di sebuah sungai yang cetek untuk ke seberang sungai. Malangnya sungai yang disangka cetek rupa-rupanya dalam dan arusnya deras. Setelah Tok Batin Lidah Hitam melepasi Sungai Beranang, air sungai tersebut kering atau cetek. Penduduk sekitarnya tidaklah perlu berenang lagi dan mengucapkan terima kasih kepada Tok Batin Lidah Hitam" - Wikipedia

We will be going back on Saturday after work together with my B-I-L, T-Rex, my S-I-L Maya and our niece, Qysarra. It is also because this year is my turn for Raya, so we ill be celebrating Hari Raya with my Mum in JB but we would probably head up to KL on the second day of Hari Raya or bring Mak for a short trip somewhere probably Melaka or somewhere, still undecided. We'll let you know when we have a confirmed plan.

Furthermore, I have to pick our Baju Raya. For the boys, My M-I-L sewed it for them (without fail ever since I got married to Adlil 11 years ago), but as for me and Qyra we sent it to a tailor there, Yatie Tailor. She's great - cheaper and the workmanship is also very much applaud compared to the prices we get here in JB, sometimes too extravagant.

However, the sad part is my sister, Kak Shasha will be coming back to JB for the weekend. Initially I asked Mackie (Nana) to come back for the weekend to accompany Mak at home but since Kakak will also not be celebrating the 1st Raya in JB, so she's coming back to see Mak before Raya. Such a shame that I won't be home when you back Kak. So I guess Mackie will come back next week right sis?

That's all from me, Adlil hopes to be blogging tonight or tomorrrow. Poor soul, he has been extremely busy with work, helping around the house n the Kids and arrangements to move to his new office. I'll leave it to him to fill you guys in on that. I'll share you with some pictures of our weekend in Beranang ok because a lot of people have been asking me where in the world it is and what is it like. No worries, will do so soon.

BTW, I would like to wish my sistas - Nawal & Ray, Happy Birthday Babes and Hope You'll Have A Swell Birthday Celebration. Muah Muah..Love you guys!!

Sunny Sunday is Family Day

2008-09-07T10:43:00.011+08:00

Actually, I had earlier drafted a post which I have yet to publish. It's a mighty "deep" issue about friendship, circle of trust and betrayal. So, I decided not to spoil this great sunny Sunday morning by talking about it.

Our sincere apologies for being too busy to write. Adlil has been really busy running errands and being such a help around the house. The good thing about Adlil is just that he has strong common sense to do his part without being asked to; like on his own free will help mop the house, wash & put to dry the clothes. That I have to admit, he's really helpful and I love him even more for all that he has done..Honne, I Wuvv You.

Yesterday and today, Alhamdullilah the weather has been good. That's good news since it has been raining in JB since the 1st Day of Ramadhan. we in the Harfy Household loves the sun because for Papa, it is a good day to go riding and dry the clothes, for the kids it means that they have a shot of going to the park or doing something outdoors. As for me, it is just a swell day to do housework. God, I have piles to fold..Sunny days are just nice!!

Yesterday, since everyone knows that we are maidless and Mak is not in town, we had to send our 3 Bambinos to my B-I-L's house over at Setia Indah. Adlil had work and I had class till 5pm. I was at first kinda anxious especially with Ryan not being with either one of us. The last time he was left with other people than Ne', it was with Mak Long, my big sister, when we went shopping at Ikea for the new house. Nevertheless, she's an O-TAI, 4 kids ok and still preserving her sanity. However, I gave myself some allowance to just let go for a while coz I know my B-I-L, T Rex and S-I-L are really great with my kids. True enough, Ryan was at his best behaviour in the span of 3 hours or so without any fuss or incidental mishaps. We are currently waiting for a new maid, which we can only get after Raya, till then the Harfy Bunch just has to just make do.

After berbuka and solat, we went to TESCO Plentong. I just love buying provision is TESCO. Cheaper, More Choices and I just feel comfortable with overall setting of the place. Whether people realize it or not, whether it is really visible, we are actually going through a hard time, a semi recession I would call it. The buying power of Johorean is getting weaker, that much I can see. If you see a trolley load of stuff, they are likely to be S'poreans or buying for business. But normal people like me, would just buy what is needed not what we want anymore. I observe that even Raya shopping has taken a strange shift. In general, people of JB, are not buying like they use to coz generally is just not possible with the current cost of living despite the petrol going down. Being lavish is just not possible nowadays. Let me share this with you, this year is the first time that I find it so difficult to get a job. Honestly, especially here in JB. They will give me crap like we can't pay you, you are over-qualified bla bla. In the Classified section, I can now barely find work suitable with my experiences, qualifications in general unlike before in JB. Kl is a diffrent story, coz I am here n I am staying for good. A friend of mine who works in a reknowned recruitment company told me that the pattern nowadays is a bit alarming. Even for a clerical post, from a small time Ah Leong company, they will have at least 1000 applicant for ONE MISERABLE post. That shows!!!

Today we would probably have buka outside. Later after Zuhur, bringing the kids to the library for a while, they want to borrow some books. This may come as a surprise to you guys, but the libraries (we have 2 now i JB...hehehhehe) in JB have an extensive choices of good children books mind you, I was surprised myself. Then after that, we would probably head down to this new Shopping Mall, Danga City Mall, formerly Plaza Best World. Before it was closed down and abandoned for years and now it has been renovated, given a new look. It was opened to the public on the 31st of August '08. The anchor tenant is Metrojaya - wow that should be interesting. Friends of mine said it is quite impressive. You see in JB, we don't have many nice malls so if one emerges, its kinda of a big deal for the Johor folks. I'll go today and update all of you on the new mall. The Kids have been bugging us to go but we have been just too fully occupied that there seems to be not enough hours in a day to be doing everything.

BTW, like to share with this really awesome thing that happened yesterday, Alief managed to put Ryan to sleep last night. I had to do some washing so I left him with abang. I peep through and saw abang singing lullabies and patting Ryan to sleep. Surprisingly, Ryan just lay down quietly looking at the brother, without any sound. Then, they both fell asleep together. Should have caught that one on camera!!

Oppss, its 11.30am, and Ryan's favourite show, Bunnytown is on. So I can do my folding of clothes in peace while he gets excited with the adorable but annoying bunnies. Nevertheless, I think they sing and dance really well for thin and frail looking rabbits whom by rhe way have great sense of dressing. Till then, thanks for the support. Cheerio.

Perfect 10 !!!

2008-09-04T23:30:00.010+08:00

Boy how time flies nowadays..first thing they are all cute & cuddly now they fight and answer you back. My Alief turns 10 today. Its actually a big thing because now he has a double digit so it makes him more of a man. I can remember the first time as I held him in my arms. While I was serenading him with the azan, his face lit up & he was actually staring at me all througout. It got me teary eye. I stayed up all night watching him. I would rub his little fingers & feet...cuddle him everytime he whines or cries during the night.

As he grow older it makes me proud to be his Papa. My little boy Alief will sooner learn & appriciate the facts of life. Its a tough world out there & I just want to make sure that he knows that I will always be there for him...always. He is just so adorable to watch now as he knows that being as "abang" to Qyra & Ryan is probably the toughest role yet. He's so helpful around the house especially now that the maid is gone...

Tonight we had a little birthday cake cutting ceremony for him as we all sang the b'day song. It may not be as much of what you would call a party,...but we were all there as a family, that's the most important and he was so excited and appreciative of our effort. He is coping so well with all this puasa stuff & I've already promised him that he would get his PSP before Hari Raya..heck I would just get it tommorrow & surprise him for his b'day. I truly think he really deserves it & he did pretty well for his exam (but the wifey thinks he should've done a lot better), He did so well in BM a subject that he is not really good at. He puts the effort and I'm proud of him. You see,..Alief doesn't really always ask for stuff like toys. He will just appreciate the simplest things in life & that my friend,... they don't teach you in school.

I'm planning to have him ride with me more often cause know he is so interested in Harleys. He would spot a Harley miles away. Last July, Alief had the pleasure of being my pillion rider from Melaka to JB...& he enjoyed every minute of it. Looking forward for more rides with u kiddo!!

Happy 10th Birthday Alief...............

Abang Is 10 Today...Yeahhhh

2008-09-03T23:44:00.012+08:00

How time flies nowadays. This November, we will be celebrating our 11th Anniversary. My oh my how time seems to be passing us through. Like they say, Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. That much is true.

Today, 4th of September is our first born's birthday. I see how he has grown (in height and in width). He's becoming more mature now now that he realizes that he is an abang. He is helpful around the house and adores Ryan so much. He is protective of his siblings and would do anything to protect them. I see the bond between Alief and Ryan and how much he loves being an abang. He helps me keep Ryan occupied, makes him laugh, sing Ryan's favourite tunes and would always catch him when he stumbles or falls. Ryan has made Alief more mature than I can ever imagine him to be. He dotes on Ryan tremendously.

We thank our lucky stars that Alief turned out to be a good boy. He is doing so much better in school (although I know he can do better) but I am more than happy to see how he has grown into a well mannered boy. I have learnt to keep my expectations towards him on a moderate level. I use to get so frustrated if he didn't do well in his exams but bow I know that by doing so, I am putting unnecessary pressure on him and that's not fair. He has overcomed his shyness and now he is able to be more upfront, takes the initiative to make friends rather than waiting for people to initiate the conversation first. Before, he use to have some much difficulties adapting to change and would resist any change in his routine. Now, he has outgrown all that, he has grown to be much more confident with himself.

I am glad that he is a boy who can tolerate and understand things more. For example, last month, his Papa bought this Power Rangers Action Figure. He knew it was for him but because we said that he needs to revise for his exams first, he didn't even attempt to open it although he looks at the packaging everyday after school. He told his sister that I cannot open it because Mama and Papa didn't say that I could open it. One thing that I must say we did pretty well in raising him is the fact that if he wanted something - like a toy or something, we have taught him that you have to earn it if he wants it. N if we said that we need not buy the toy or his games gadgets, he understands and he'll always say, its ok, we can get it next time. Even when he was a lil bambino, he wouldn't throw tantrums, if he didn't get the toy that he wanted. Even if we bought for him toys he would NEVER open it up untill he reached home, eventhough the journey was from KL to JB. Some of my friends are amazed with Alief's strong discipline, tolerance and willpower.
Sometimes when he is with me, I would sometime baby him and that is when he would tell me his problems in school and etc. We still have our Mama and Alief time where he'll open up to me and that's very refreshing. He has a small heart and will get teary eye once in a while but I guess that's ok although sometimes he is a bit "gembeng". Well, I tell myself, its ok for him to be like that, I hope he'll outgrow that stage soon. He loves to play computer games, game boy, Taekwondo - he's pretty good at it and now he loves go karting. He is such an easy boy to please. Simpliest things in life makes him contented.

Alief, Mama wants you to know how proud I am of your progress and how you turned out to be. I love you more than life and I want you to know that Mama will always be there for you. Happy 10th Birthday Alief Daniel!! You'll always be Mama's lil boy.

Let's Rumble...........

2008-09-01T23:30:00.009+08:00

It's the 1st day of Ramadhan & for us bikers espeacially Muslims kinda take this as a break from our butts glued to the saddle. As for me I still ride it now & then whether just a stop to a local shop getting bread and occassionally...make that most of the time going out for business meetings or blasting up the highway just for the fun of it. Sometimes I do feel like our neighbours
Here you must be thinkin when will I ever get enough on my iron horse Harley? Love it or hate it... as I always say to these people that cant take the noise generated from my Phyton3 exhaust.
We as Harley riders should consider ourselves lucky that the authorities doesn't apply tha EPA ruling in this region. Even if they did I think I would never go for stock pipes. Rule no 1 after getting yourself a Harley...is change your pipes. Harley's has always known for their rumble and believe me that sweet roaring sound didn't come from a stock bike,espeacially the ones with EFI ( fuel injection ).

Well that rumble sure hit the note on my last ride before Ramadhan as I took my Wifey to Desaru to visit an old friend of hers ( Intan ) while she was on a holiday trip from Dubai. A good friend of ours Azmi also tagged along with his wife Hani on his Road King with us. It was 9am, the sun was bright & I knew it was gonna be a great ride. I've always been a great admirer for the trunk roads rather than the boring highways. I mean who the hell wants to have the same fuckin views for a ride? I know u might say that on a freeway the roads are wider & its safer....,but the thrills & challenge for a motorists is definately pressance on these winding & tricky roads.

We arrived at The Pulai ( the place where Intan was staying ) at around 11am & she was already there waiting for us at the lobby. I'm sure the loud rumbling pipes from our Harley's did the job that caught her attention. So we hang out talked, took pictures bla bla bla....& cut 12 years of stories into an hour then it was goodbyes. I was eager to get back on the road as the clouds didn't look the same when we arrived. We were expecting rain but that's not goin to stop our ride. Azmi nearly got into a mishap with another motorist on our back to JB. I was right behind him when it happened....this SOB was in his car swerving left & right behind a bus which we wanted to overtake. While we were about to pass with our passing lights on, this SOB driver came out trying to overtake the bus which caught us by surprise...the SOB then braked & went back behind the bus as there was an incoming vehicle ahead on the opposite side of the road. So what did my friend did what all bikers wouldv'e done,... is showed the middle finger as a sign for fuck off for putting our lives in danger!

It was raining heavily when we reached Kota Tinggi and we stopped for 'ngeteh' & we made our final stop in the wet at BHP petrol in Ulu Tiram before heading home. Its kinda funny that everytime I reached home from a ride, I always have this question in my head as where & when am I going next with my Harley?. Eventhough its the fasting month I couldn't stand there just looking at my Harley parked & not going for long rides. Last year of Ramadhan me & a few guys from our Motoheads MC went to Umbai Melaka twice for buka puasa. I seriously think we should do it again this year guys & this time around, I would like to see some of our fellow bikers from KL to join us as well.

Thank you Desaru for the great scenic roads. To Azmi & Hani tq for tagging along.
Let's ride.........

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.

2008-09-01T20:57:00.011+08:00

Well, it is the first day of Ramadhan today. We had a modest Buka Puasa together with my mum and our Bambinos. Alief puasa today, Qyra puasa half day today. To be very honest, I am really hoping that this Ramadhan will be a turning point for me as lady luck has not really been on my side of the fence lately. But like Adlil keeps on telling me, its ok, coz s'times in order to succeed, we have to undergo, in my case lotsa lotsa defeat. I am still hoping that they will be a pot of gold waiting for me at the end of the journey..insyallah.

Anyway on another note, just to share with all of you that I was re-united with my long lost (not really lost) while I was in PPP/ITM, Intan Nazrahayu. I guess Adlil did mention that we went for a joyride with our frens, Mi & Hani to Desaru on Saturday. Adlil will be telling you about the whole journey in the next post, that I leave it to him. I had so much fun riding with my Adlil muahhss.

However, we were so happy to have been re-united after not seeing each other face to face for almost 12 years or so. We've been keeping in touch via YM and Facebook but nothing beats the real deal. We hanged out at the "lounge" area of The Pulai, Desaru and exchanged latest happening about ourselves. Like I said to Iza this morning, it was so refreshing to meet old frens who knows you and who you are totally comfortable with and the best part never judge you. We had fun catching up!! Met her two adorable and beautiful kids too. I had fun although it was a mere two hours of chit chatting.

Intan, it was so nice to have met you again after all this years and girl, besides the hijab and the motherhood, and some other stuff, you are pretty much the same Intan who lived across my flat in PPP/ITM, Section 17, and whom I must say we connected to each other instantaneously.

Intan, we'll definitely must have another meet up with the whole gang bang when you come back the next time. Do have a safe journey back and keep in touch coz frens like what we all had are just hard to come by nowadays. Hani, thanks for accompanying me and basically being there for me when I needed a friend.

As for me, I learnt that good frens are hard to come by, the really hard way... Daaahhh, these are friends that you can always do without, they become excess baggage if you tolerate them, so dwelling on it would be such a waste of time. Happy Ramadhan to all of you!!

LuV: Yaya XoXo

Bloody Merdeka!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-31T19:46:00.006+08:00

Well let me tell u the shits thet I went thru this week. Boy I just didnt see it coming eventhough I had prepared myself for this coming Ramadhan to be a subtle, holy & time for reflection month.

While I was in Kuantan last week on a job for a couple of days there I received a phone call from my contact for an up coming project for this year Merdeka celebration. It seemed that on the final week before the merdeka function I got the boot & some other company got the gig. Damn! This is what happens when u r dealing with my kinda business especialy that involves the government, they can just change their minds just like that. The shitty part is that they will never give u a deposit or assurance but just sweet promises.

So with that for the first time in my career in the audio engineering world I'm jobless because of empty promises made by certain people in the goverment this merdeka. I mean they could've told me earlier.. but ohh no it had to be at the last minute... n changed their mind to call me in 6 hours before showtime, some 200km away. Don't think so...

I guess probably this a way Allah is telling me that I should just take it easy cause Ramadhan is just around the corner & I need a breather for a while since I have been working hard the whole year through.

I enjoyed my work at Kuantan. I must say they are one group of nice ppl that I have encountered while doing UMP's Convocation. The best part, I had company on my ride home to JB as 10 other biker buddies of our Motoheads MC decided to go to Kuantan for one last ride before the Ramadhan. Thank you guys for the awesome ride home. It sure beats from riding solo.

Just as I thought I would now gather my strengh be mentally prepared for Ramadhan,.. my maid ran off & fled...Bitch! Now the Harfy Bunch definitely gotta stay strong & focus to face this mighty test. Well, we've been there before & I'm sure we will do alright....I hope.

Boiiingggg!!!!

2008-08-31T18:15:00.012+08:00

Today has been a challenging day for the Harfy Family, one of those days where you wished that you never woke u at all so that you need not have to face this rather conflicting day. My Beeaatcchh maid is gone. Yup that inconsiderate selfish bitch dissapeared from our residence. I was awaken this morning by my daughter Qyra who said "Mama, Bibik is missing, Abang went looking for Bibik all around the house but cannot find her". I was absolutely dumbfounded, flabbergasted and stunned beyond words. I went downstairs and to her room. There I found that she had left us, a day before Ramadhan. I started to chock a bit, went upstairs and told Adlil that HIS bibik is gone.

He, had a peculiar unfazed reaction and started taking his phone and calling the bitch but of course she had no guts to pick up the call. He then called our agent who promised to help us with this crisis. I went totally blur and dazed for an hour or so. We knew that this issue would somewhat surface because she has been facing some issues back home in Indonesia in regards to her family. Told her that I'll let her go back for Hari Raya for a few days - which my frens say is "too baik" coz she has only been in M'sia for 6 months or so. To think that we treated her like family and provided her with all the necessities that she needed, with other plus point perks, which most of my frens claim, is "too bagi muka". I don't treat my maids like maids but more of a helper to help me with some of my household chores, more like a part of the family.

Unfortunately, the kids are also kinda fond of her, especially Raiyan who she helps take care while we are at work or when my mum is not in the house. My mum and my good fren's mum-in-law told me that these people are ungrateful people who no matter how nice you are with them, are very much self-centred idiots!! Honestly, come to think of it, they don't give two shits of what's going to happen to you if they leave you at a lurch like that.

Now I realize that I'm in for a hell of hectic and stressful month ahead of us.. However, I am grateful that my Adlil is so much help around the house. So, now there will be more in store for us, juggling our work and taking care of the family and house. I hate to go through the process of applying for a new maid and going through the whole "au fait to you phase". Thank god I cook well (that's what Adlil tells me amd claims that it was my mi-hun goreng that made him propose almost immediately), so there will be much more cooking. Don't mind the cooking but the preparation and cleaning up after the fiesco is not my fave part in the kitchen, but for now, I don't really have much choice, do I?

To make matters worst, my utmost important gadget, my handphone went dead on me. Just can't seem to do anything with it. So I am a bit at lost here without my phone. No choice but to get a new phone, which I again have to go through the process of getting acquainted to it, which I very much dread.

Well, I guess I am up to a crazy maidless days ahead of me and wish that I'll manage to do it successfully, all in one piece, without killing anyone in the process. Thanks to my friends who have showed concern in this very stressful episode, in the Harfy Household.

LuV Yaya XOXO

My Ride

2008-08-29T21:56:00.010+08:00

It has always been my childhood dream to own a Harley. I have always been an enthusiast when it comes to Easy Rider motorbikes. I would look in envy everytime I hear the thundering roar of a Harley Davidson.

I started off small with a Vulcan Bike..(yup a japanese bike) that was my prized possession when I was in my early 20s. I still remember queing in front of Hard Rock & watching "brader2" on their Harleys on a friday night hanging out with their fellow biker buddies...& the best part these guys get free parking in front of HRC if you come with a Harley & you can get in for free! No ques, no hassle,no worries... Still the determination of owning a Harley was indeed top on my list.

Then, while I was enjoying the fruit of my hard work, together with my very modest Vulcan, I was reunited with My Wifey, fell in love and we got hitched. That to me was the ultimate satisfaction my life having to find my soulmate that I want to spend eternity & grow old with..She is everything to me & everything that I am so at that point in my life screw the Japanese bike & it was history.

Nevertheless, I was still living the dream of having a Harley but being me, I like to earn things the hard way, one step at a time, I got myself later a Drag Star..( yeah2 u guys would still be thinkin " another Japanese?) I had a son & a little baby was on the way so to keep me in touch with my feel for easyriders that was the only bike I could afford. But this time around me being a man..I started customizing my ride cause I didnt want my ride to look the same as the other stock bikes on the road. I had to make it my own.

I guess, if you dream hard enough, you are halfway there and still my determination was indeed very much sought after. True enough in 2005, I got for myself my fisrt Harley! It was a 1992 Softail Fatboy. I got it from a guy who had park & left the bike there motionless for almost 3 years. Before purchasing my first Harley I had to get a second opinion from an "otai" Harley biker Mr Kadir...Cmon guys this is a Harley we are talkin about here & I had to be sure about the bike. Kadir inspected the bike & told me " if you are not getting this bike I will "... so the deal was done & I was the happiest guy on earth.

I can still remember the first time I brought the bike home & my wife said to me " what a piece of crap did u just bought for yourself!? " To her it was an ugly beat up junk of tins & ready to be scrap. But for me it was my crown jewel...I had my own ideas in store for this beauty, in making it my own. Got the bike serviced..gave it a fresh coat of paint & with new set of tyres I was ready to tear up the streets. I was smiling from ear to ear everytime I rode the bike and still do.

Well I guess thats it for now as an introduction of my world. I'll be riding off to Desaru tomorrow morning with my Wifey to visit an old friend of hers & its really getting late.

Till then...........

A New Frontier

2008-08-29T14:57:00.000+08:00

Well, cannot believe that my Adlil has decided to start a blog of his own. It totally came as a surprise to me when he said "Bie, I think it would be kinda cool to have a blog of our own". I didn't know whether I should choke or to cry as my Adlil is not a person who is into all this. Mind you he doesn't believe my excitement with facebook which he thinks is full of faux and cliche in its own right.

On the other hand, me myself, have been meaning to start a blog for myself for almost 4 years or so but never came about doing it, for reasons, I myself cannot reconcile in my almost fully occupied brain. Good friends who know my inclination in writing have asked me numerous times on why I have no blog to my name. Well guys, this would be it now.

So Adlil, thanks to you, we have embarked to our new long awaited frontier.

Here we will start sharing our lives with all of our frens and hopefully find new frens who share the same passion as we do. This would be our way of sharing our wonderful life together with our love of our lives, Alief, Qyra, Raiyan and Adlil's Harley.

Welcome to our life where life is not about the destination but more of the journey and lessons that we have encountered along the way..