Saturday, August 15, 2009

Gimme some soul..mate!!

Soulmates..that may sound so cliche. Overly rated and used. I donno I was just talking to a friend who is an ardent fan of my humble pieces of writing. She asked how I would define talking about soulmates. It made me stop to think and ponder in depth to this word.

Some would define soul mates as individuals who met this person who he/she thinks is a person whom they want to spend eternity with, to have their marriage to be a great one. For their marriage relationship to feel like a natural fit. Although they, like all married couples, need to put a priority on their marriage, it is not hard to do because they have a sense of being at ease and connected with one another. That is what everyone would associate what soulmates are. A bond that is shared by two married people. A bit over rated if you ask me :-P

If you believe in the idea of only one soul mate for each person, you may assume that a partnership of two soul mates should be able to handle challenging times easily. That may not always be the case.

Just because you are in tune to one another, each of you are willing to take responsibility for your role in contributing to the conflict, and are both committed to making the marriage a successful one -- your marriage can still fall apart if other essentials such as love, respect, and communication are missing.I feel that if you start looking for perfection in your spouse, or think that everything in your relationship should immediately click, and that there won't be any problems, you are setting yourself up for a dose of heavy disillusionment. Another danger in believing in the concept of soul mates is taking your marriage relationship for granted.

There can be temptation to bail out of an unhappy marriage if you think your spouse isn't your soul mate. If you think that marriage to your soul mate will mean a life free from hard times and conflict, you are not facing reality. Some people may think that if you've not married your soul mate, don't just walk away from the relationship for that reason alone. Spend some time getting to know yourself a bit better first. You can't find your perceived soul mate if you haven't found yourself first. That is why it is important for you to have a clear direction on what you yourself define as soul mates.

However, I beg to differ. My perception of what soulmate is a little bit more than that. I define it as one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. Someone for whom you have a deep affinity. A person temperamentally suited to another. It doesn't necessarily mean that your other half may necessarily be your soulmate. Soul mates can come in lotsa form. Sometimes there are two people who may be commited to their own other half but sometimes finds that they are connected to another person on a whole different level..Hard to explain but I guess people who actually get where I am going through would fully understand where I am getting at. Soulmates can also be defined as that when two people who finds themselves totally connected to each other, an intense feeling of connectivity and sync.
Your soul mate can be your friend, a companion, a lover, your better half or may be just this other person who you are connected to a certain level connection that results you to become very much comfortable and at ease with this person. When you meet your soul mate, you will be surprised yourself..because, you will somewhat know when this person immerges, just how when I met my Adlil, no words were exchanged but we both felt that ultimately strong connection. Although we started off as casual friends, we both knew that we were connected beyond that and deep in our hearts we knew that we were destined to be together eventhough we had to go to held and back, in and out of relationships with other people..it was sure worth the 5 year wait!!