"You Live You Learn"

Wow, its been a while almost a month or so since I last wrote. My humble apologies as I have been busy trying to be a super mummy eversince the school holidays started. Its more of me making time for them. However, the main reason is since the last entry, we has been away on a family holiday. Then soon after, I have been pre- occupied and adjusting to my new life...working. After 1 1/2 years being on my own, now I am working for other people.

I chose to reflect with Alanis's song - You Live You Learn. Inspirational and makes you know that everyone goes to the same shit. It is how you choose to rise above is what matters the most at the end of the day.

I have been meaning to share this important phase in my life with all of you. Being that it has been such a year that I have been tested by Allah The Al-Mighty. I have been tested in ways that I never imagine possible in terms of work, friendship and most especially my faith & beliefs. When I look back on it, I'm kinda relieved that 2008 is coming to an end in like 8 minutes or so. I just want to leave that dark period of my life...far far away. I made a vow to myself to never go there ever again. 2008 was really a trying time for me.

Anyhow, on a brighter note, I am currently attached with Sunway College. I am in position as The Head for The Language Programs and also lecturing at the same time. It was kinda difficult for me to get into the routine. Nevertheless, Alhamdullilah after 2 weeks or so, I am adjusting and really like it. Everyday is a learning thing for me as I am left on my own to figure things out. Kinda taxing and makes you mentally drained but as you know, I have been missing that adrenaline rush so I am pretty much getting all that in my new frontier. Figuring out things makes me more alert and I am pretty much trying to get into the swing of things. Insyallah, give it time I say, I'll get there sooner than I thought I would.

My typical working day in Sunway would start as early as 8.30am where I have to clock in (mind you, the punch card system...crap, I have never been good with these stuff). Then I would go through my emails and do all administrative stuff since the the term will only be commencing on the 5th of January 2008. I have 5 lecturers under me and 3/4 of them are way..my seniors in terms of age. So you can imagine what I have to deal with. Generally they are quite accomodating but sometimes its hard to get them to accept change. Don't really blame them though, since they are "older" and more resistant to change. I on the other hand, am constantly figuring out things on my own and everyday since I had reported for duty on 15th December, I have never failed to be SURPRISED on a daily basis (no shit) in all forms possible. I must say it is nice though to learn things this way.. Nice but not easy. Well, I thought to myself, I went through hell and back in 2008, a few challenges had never stopped me.

I'll be going through a whole new phase in 2009. I am hoping for the best and will not settle for anything less. I guess sometimes my expectations towards myself is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy to ambitious. Its ok, the skies the limit for me and I am not going to let anyone or anything be in the way of me regaining my life back. My ego, self esteem and will power had been battered to the maximum in 2008. I crumbled, cried but I never gave up. To me anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. However, I learned to keep it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart. That my friend is true strength. I thank My Adlil for always being there for me, cheering for me when there is really nothing to cheer about. Adlil has never failed to believe in me and my capabilities so why shouldn't I.

Two important things that I learnt from all of this are - True Genuine Friends are Hard To Come By These Days and that failure makes you even more competent in ways you never thought possible.

BTW, I am glad that my really close girlfriends and I got together after all these years and now that we have matured, we realize how valuable our friendships were and still is. So, we have made a pact to stay as tight and celebrate our successes, joy and failures together. I am so glad that we have connected after all these years. One thing's for sure, we are going to grow old and still be as strongly connected, magical but very surreal.

I had made some resolutions for myself for 2009 which all sums up to this -I am going to try very hard to become a better person in every sense of the word thus making myself and my Harfy Bunch proud. I have learnt though the hard way that success is having the courage, determination and will to become the person that you believe you were meant to be.

I leave you to usher in the New Year with this - “Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what? Shit Happens. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” Happy New Year and Cheers to A Prosperous Year!!

2009, here I come with a vengence to rise up high.