Some say its grapevine…I say it is just plain bitching.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and she was really in a somber mood. She was very much affected by the malicious rumour mongering that was going round about her at the office and round our social circle. She was practically in tears and was super upset with the news that was flying around. After she was calmer, regain her composure and was no saying NO to my every sentence. The news that was flying around was that she was having an affair with a married chap who falls under the sought after category of a guy.

I held her hand and said…"WTF Girl, Why should you be preoccupied with what people are saying about you, they don't put food on your table, they don't help you pay the bills, all they do is just talk". She was stunned and said to me " Wei woman, what happened to you? The Yaya I use to remember use to be the one who was forever conscious about what people said about her". My answer to her sarcasm was simple – It was gone when I said YES to Panjang. She smiled and gave me a peculiar smirk.

It is true and this goes all the all my friends out there. I am sharing this with you guys because this is such a common scenario that happens in our everyday lives. So what? We talk, we bicker, we bitch about others. It may be some harmless and innocent bitching or gossiping. However, some people just take a step further to sensationalize the issue for the F@%! Of it. Agreed?

If we are giving in and getting ourselves so worked out about what people are saying behind our back, then we are giving them the upper hand..one point up. Whatever for? Why give them the satisfaction? Why are we surrendering to their bickering? We shouldn't do that. Instead, what we should do is that face it like a mature adult. Show to them that what they are saying about you is not true. Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking that what they say has that sort of effect Some people just find pleasure in depicting other people's dirty linen. Trust me may it be man or woman, people in general loves talking and getting scoops on others especially if the thing involves betrayal and some form of scandalous crap. I have to admit as a human being, I do too.

The way grapevine communication works is one person, Person 1, sends a message to Person 2 and Person 3. Then, Person 2 tells Person 4 and Person 5. And Person 3 tells Person 6. Not all participants within the grapevine send messages. Some participants are just receivers. These people just listen without taking any action. These people do not spread, they just keep 'em to' em self and bring them to their grave. Some people on the other hand take a step further by sensationalizing the story and pass it to another person.

I have been doing some "research" on this bitching and grapevine because of late, I seem to be encountering with this may it be about myself or may it be about my friends. The amount of grapevine that takes place in enormous!! So these types of rumors that are spread through grapevine communication I would say can put into two groups; spontaneous and premeditated. What I would like to call Spontaneous rumors is when people spread crappy rumours when people are stressed or in an untrustworthy environment. Premeditated rumors spread within highly competitive environments. This can be caused by numerous factors wish fulfillment, jealousy, incompetency anxiety, wedge drivers, and home stretchers. All these and more are reasons why low life morons like this grapevine about other people.

Like I was just telling a close comrade who was so affected by the rumours that was going around about him. He was at the point that he wanted to just drop everything and hid away from society. He just wanted to get out from the circle of friends he is in and he wanted OUT from everything. Pretty Dumb if you ask me because why be bothered with what this miniscule group of people are saying about him and most especially when what is being said was just grapevine per se. I told him further that why they are saying all this about him is because this is all new to everyone so it gives everyone, every reason to be inquisitive and talk about it. This is because this is all NEW, so when its new, its of the latest scoop, fresh from the oven then people TALK. So, why stupidly give in when at the end of the day you are giving this people the satisfaction to make you feel crappy about yourself. Like as if you have done something wrong. Reacting negatively like that shows that you are in the wrong..so think again..are you?

To me some people just spreading rumours for the sake of "being the first to know. I knew the whole story but I didn't utter a word to anyone. That is what friendship is about. It is about being there for your friend, believing in him and try your utmost best to just be his friend by not telling. That is what true friends are all about.

You know why I get that peace of mind now? It is because I couldn't five an F to what people say about me. To me what is important is the fact that my other half, family and good friends know me well and know that what is said are just malicious grapevine. Why do you need to give in to these stupid morons coz if you do, it makes you a moron too right? These are unhappy people who do not have a decent life to lead. So, why react and trust me, at the end of the day, the stupidest person in this whole scenario is none other than YOU!! Why let them have that satisfaction. Why should we allow this people suck the life of you? We don't owe them anything, not even an explanation let alone a reason for them to talk about. Don't EVER do that!! It makes you look like the weakest link who is affected by the slightest form of bickering. To put it short, a jerk!!

Me being me, I would always be forever honest and upfront with my friends, and sometimes I do that without sparing their feelings. If you want an honest upfront real answer you come to me. But if you are looking for someone who would nurse your ego sorry, then you came to the wrong confession dock baby!! However, to me that is so much better as there is no pretence, no bickering and no back stabbing. That is cooler than otherwise. I would want my friends to do so.

Well, its human nature and sometimes you cannot really avoid it from happening. So, one final advise I have to all my friends out there, never allow anyone make you feel inadequate or inferior of yourself. Call it grapevine, gossiping. Hearsay, tittle-tattle, blather or natter, I say is sheer BITCHING. Don't you think so?

I am Blessed!!

I suddenly felt inspired to write today. I guess looking things around me suddenly it daunted me to write just a bit about my life. Hey 2009 turned out to be a FINE year for me. Honestly, here I am at work looking around me to find somewhat an inspiration, a source of happiness but with no avail. That was then suddenly I had a huge smile on my face, I saw the faces of people whom my ultimate joy in living comes from; my family and friends!!

Life may not be a bed of roses for me right now, but this only refers to my job which now I have learnt to just shove it aside after 5.30pm and never let the stress of work get the best of me. Now, I am more focused. I am looking out of the window for other options but you and me know that this is just NOT the right time just as yet. However I think it is going to be real soon. I am just waiting for Allah to give that one special miracle.

Apart from that I shouldn't be complaining. I am blessed. This actually turned out to be a good year for me. Not that bad although I think I could do better in terms of the Career department which I am trying so hard to go through right now.

I am blessed to have a wonderful husband. MY perfect guy. He takes good care of the kids and I. He goes out of his way to do things to make me smile. The best part of it all is the fact how he helps around the house. Very hard to get a guy as helpful and adorable like this. That much I know. I hear my girlfriends all complaining that their other half just don't lift a finger at all at home. As for Adlil, he does the housework wholeheartedly. He does it because he wants to. Apart from that my Adlil tries to pamper me and gives me a whole lot of attention whenever he can.

12 years ago, My Adlil never did appear as a husband yet alone Papa traits and quality. Him with his macho, cool and indifferent façade. He painted the picture like he was the "Like he didn't have the care in the world" type of guy". Never did it appear to me that he would be what he is now. Simply perfect!! I love him to bits for taking good care of the kids and I.

Looking at the kids, Alhamdullilah how they have grown. Time seems to be zooming so fast. Alief aka Abang is doing so much better now, socially. A great brother who dotes on his siblings. We still thinks that he tends to give in too much to his siblings and they tend to take advantage of this. Nevertheless, he has turned to be such a good boy. Some of my friends adores his good manners and I am proud of him. He is an average boy who gives me average grades in school but he makes me proud for what he has become.

Qyra, my warrior princess. A lot of spunk in my only princess. A smart girl who is extremely inquisitive about things around her and super attentive with minute details. She went through a bit of an episode with her health a month ago. Nevertheless she fought it through and I know it is because of her strong will power was what made it easier for her to become better. Such a artistic, clever and talented girl. A lot like me who is strong willed (sometimes a bit too much for her own good), passionate, caring, attentive and smart. Too pampered sometimes if you ask me by dearest Adlil. Well can't blame him since she is our only princess. Girls tend to be more incline towards their father and that also applies to my ever dearest only daughter.So. I pretty much have grown accustom to that fact. Alhamdullilah she is doing really well in school and she has no problems whatsoever fitting in school. She is adored by her teachers, who speak highly of her. Sometimes Adlil and I tend to wonder whether they are talking about our Qyra Adlina who needs to be reminded constantly to help with the house work. Well, you can't really get everything right?

Last but not least is my lil cute and adorable monster Raiyan. Aeyen is such a handful adorable little thing. He keeps everyone especially my dearest mummy on her feet all day. Time seems to flies. He will be turning TWO in a couple of days. He is super duppa active that he is always up to something. Very observant and has a passion for vehicles. His current amusement now is construction vehicles and lorries. He has quite a few toys at home ranging from diggers, lorries and trucks. Very amused with it!! He is actively running around and I must say that he can really keep you on your toes. Nevertheless, he is a joy to have cause he really amuses us with his trick and traits that is really cheeky and cute all rolled into one.

I am so delighted to have my mummy taking care of my children. Not everyone has the privilege to have their mummies looking after their kids. You feel very much secure, happy and contented to leave your children when you are off to work because you know that they are in good hands!! I don't think that anyone can do it better than our own mummy in terms of bringing up our children. The only thing that I think mummy dearest pampers him a bit too much. But I always say to myself, "Tak pa la, at least she gives him the attention that he deserves since I am mostly not home cause we spend more time at work rather than at home. Now that we don't have a stay in maid I know and understand that it is an uphill task for my mum. I really don't know what I would do without her.

I am also blessed to have great friends whom some I have known half of my life, parted our ways after Uni while some I was lucky to encounter along the way. As for my Uni buddies, I am so happy that since last 2 years we were re-united and the best part after all this years, we are as tight as before or shall I say share a tighter bond. We practically just picked up where we left off. Superb!! I guess all the years that we have been apart made us appreciate that our friendship is priceless. I can picture ourselves in 20 – 30 years from now and we will still be yamcha-ing together happily gossiping away. Friends like these are hard to come by. The best part, even our fave lecturer in Uni now is our 'bosom buddy". Iza, Reen, Ray, Hani, Anis, Intan, Pet, Alang, Huggable, Syazril, Era, Cik Roy, Farah, Tham and Ayin. You guys rock my world and I will cherish the friendship that we share. There is also Zett, my mate ol pal!! Some people from school like Maymay, Shelly, Yon, Salidah, Joel, Watie, Myra, Salina, Asma..you guys are the greatest. Then there are some good people who became good buddies like Salina, Fafai aka My Boboi, Tasz and to all our MMC boys and better half. You guys colour my world. At least I don't feel so 'dead' being in JB , 360km away from my kind of CIVILIZATION and friends! Sorry cannot mention all of you but you know who you are and how special you are in my lives!!

The best part is we are going to move to our own Micasa!! It is now going through some renovation works and I am only going to present the house once it is all ready. It is our pride and joy!! The feeling is extremely out of this world.

What else can I say, I am truly Blessed!!