Some say its grapevine…I say it is just plain bitching.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and she was really in a somber mood. She was very much affected by the malicious rumour mongering that was going round about her at the office and round our social circle. She was practically in tears and was super upset with the news that was flying around. After she was calmer, regain her composure and was no saying NO to my every sentence. The news that was flying around was that she was having an affair with a married chap who falls under the sought after category of a guy.

I held her hand and said…"WTF Girl, Why should you be preoccupied with what people are saying about you, they don't put food on your table, they don't help you pay the bills, all they do is just talk". She was stunned and said to me " Wei woman, what happened to you? The Yaya I use to remember use to be the one who was forever conscious about what people said about her". My answer to her sarcasm was simple – It was gone when I said YES to Panjang. She smiled and gave me a peculiar smirk.

It is true and this goes all the all my friends out there. I am sharing this with you guys because this is such a common scenario that happens in our everyday lives. So what? We talk, we bicker, we bitch about others. It may be some harmless and innocent bitching or gossiping. However, some people just take a step further to sensationalize the issue for the F@%! Of it. Agreed?

If we are giving in and getting ourselves so worked out about what people are saying behind our back, then we are giving them the upper hand..one point up. Whatever for? Why give them the satisfaction? Why are we surrendering to their bickering? We shouldn't do that. Instead, what we should do is that face it like a mature adult. Show to them that what they are saying about you is not true. Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking that what they say has that sort of effect Some people just find pleasure in depicting other people's dirty linen. Trust me may it be man or woman, people in general loves talking and getting scoops on others especially if the thing involves betrayal and some form of scandalous crap. I have to admit as a human being, I do too.

The way grapevine communication works is one person, Person 1, sends a message to Person 2 and Person 3. Then, Person 2 tells Person 4 and Person 5. And Person 3 tells Person 6. Not all participants within the grapevine send messages. Some participants are just receivers. These people just listen without taking any action. These people do not spread, they just keep 'em to' em self and bring them to their grave. Some people on the other hand take a step further by sensationalizing the story and pass it to another person.

I have been doing some "research" on this bitching and grapevine because of late, I seem to be encountering with this may it be about myself or may it be about my friends. The amount of grapevine that takes place in enormous!! So these types of rumors that are spread through grapevine communication I would say can put into two groups; spontaneous and premeditated. What I would like to call Spontaneous rumors is when people spread crappy rumours when people are stressed or in an untrustworthy environment. Premeditated rumors spread within highly competitive environments. This can be caused by numerous factors wish fulfillment, jealousy, incompetency anxiety, wedge drivers, and home stretchers. All these and more are reasons why low life morons like this grapevine about other people.

Like I was just telling a close comrade who was so affected by the rumours that was going around about him. He was at the point that he wanted to just drop everything and hid away from society. He just wanted to get out from the circle of friends he is in and he wanted OUT from everything. Pretty Dumb if you ask me because why be bothered with what this miniscule group of people are saying about him and most especially when what is being said was just grapevine per se. I told him further that why they are saying all this about him is because this is all new to everyone so it gives everyone, every reason to be inquisitive and talk about it. This is because this is all NEW, so when its new, its of the latest scoop, fresh from the oven then people TALK. So, why stupidly give in when at the end of the day you are giving this people the satisfaction to make you feel crappy about yourself. Like as if you have done something wrong. Reacting negatively like that shows that you are in the wrong..so think again..are you?

To me some people just spreading rumours for the sake of "being the first to know. I knew the whole story but I didn't utter a word to anyone. That is what friendship is about. It is about being there for your friend, believing in him and try your utmost best to just be his friend by not telling. That is what true friends are all about.

You know why I get that peace of mind now? It is because I couldn't five an F to what people say about me. To me what is important is the fact that my other half, family and good friends know me well and know that what is said are just malicious grapevine. Why do you need to give in to these stupid morons coz if you do, it makes you a moron too right? These are unhappy people who do not have a decent life to lead. So, why react and trust me, at the end of the day, the stupidest person in this whole scenario is none other than YOU!! Why let them have that satisfaction. Why should we allow this people suck the life of you? We don't owe them anything, not even an explanation let alone a reason for them to talk about. Don't EVER do that!! It makes you look like the weakest link who is affected by the slightest form of bickering. To put it short, a jerk!!

Me being me, I would always be forever honest and upfront with my friends, and sometimes I do that without sparing their feelings. If you want an honest upfront real answer you come to me. But if you are looking for someone who would nurse your ego sorry, then you came to the wrong confession dock baby!! However, to me that is so much better as there is no pretence, no bickering and no back stabbing. That is cooler than otherwise. I would want my friends to do so.

Well, its human nature and sometimes you cannot really avoid it from happening. So, one final advise I have to all my friends out there, never allow anyone make you feel inadequate or inferior of yourself. Call it grapevine, gossiping. Hearsay, tittle-tattle, blather or natter, I say is sheer BITCHING. Don't you think so?