Leaving The Door Slightly Ajar

Wow!! To be utterly honest this wasn't that easy for me to write. No names would be mentioned but let's just say this is a fictional character out from my fave author Candace Bushnell's. Very edgy with a Sex & the City or 5th Avenue feel. Nevertheless, hate to dissapoint all of you that for this short and humble piece, they will not be any saucy sex scenes, next time maybe; hehehehe

I had to go for a 45 minute drive all bymyself, with the radio blasting with MY kinda music, just to be inspired. I just wanted to get away on my own and reconcile what I have made to understand via some weird encounter. Just enjoy this post as a fictional post with some thoughts for us to ponder upon. Well, since I am working on my first soon to be published fiction, I thought I should might as well put my skills to the test.

Sara has a life that everyone envied and could ever dream possible. A doting partner that adores her like no other and treats her like a princess that god had drop down from heaven just for him. She had been married for the past decade and the devotion they had for each other was beyond intense. A close friend of mine once said - The true indication that you want to have this chick for keeps is to see how beautiful she looks every morning when she wakes up. Without fail for the past decade, her other half would always say how beautiful she looks every morning when he wakes up next to her. To him it was sheer blessing to open his eyes every morning and feast his soul to that wonderful beautiful face that he vowed eternity to. She has children who are a joy to have. She had and still do have that perfect life that is to die for. A 5 figure salary and career that was classified Grade A status in the eyes of the common public.

Besides her attractive self comes a pleasant personality that everyone just adores. She has the IT life. The life that everyone would only dream about. She treats herself to occasional Pradas and Guccis coz she deserves it,every bit of it. Then, one fine day without her actually realizing, she left her door slightly ajar and that is when lady luck just came knocking on her door.

That was the start to the emotional whirlwind phase of her life that she is currently undergoing. Sara left the door slightly ajar and that is when she welcomed possibilities to come into her perfect life. Call it a mistake, call it fluke but she refuses to call it all that. She thinks its fate. That is when she allowed Ace to come into her "oh so perfect" life. Not that this was the first time she had suitors drooling over her witty personality and adorable looks. Never even once she never had allowed them to ever make their presence in his life. Why Ace? Why not the others who tried so hard to just get Sara to even notice their existence. Those are questions that Sara doesn't have any answers to. Despite all that, she was willing to hang on to infactuation to see where this was leading to.

To further complement her life is that she is blessed with friends that would go through hell and back for her. Friends who are for keeps and would never judge her ever not even for an instance. Her friends were sensing something was not at the right place with Sara. She seems distracted, aloof and preoccupied. That is when one of her pals asked abruptly - Sara. are you seeing someone? Sara was dumbfonded , flabbergasted and shocked!! Crap!! It was so obvious that it could be seen through her. Dammit!! She paused, hesitated but at the end blurted out a "sort of". Her friends were shocked but they tried so hard to stay composed and collected to ensure Sara was comfortable to level with them. However, she wasn't ready to spill the beans as she felt so inadequate to confess to what she considers as her letting her guard down. This is something which you would never seen of Sara. She would always be the one who is most composed; the one who all friends would come running to for that sense of comfort, a shoulder to cry on, someone they would confide in. Sara would be the one who be knockin some sense; a dose of reality check. This time all eyes were on Sara. Still, she wasn't ready to spill who "her kekasih gelap" was. Everyone although anxious, gave her the benefit of the doubt. Sara said "No worries, its not exclusive". They left it at that as they saw how uncomfortable she was to pursue the conversation.

A day after the meet, one of the girls who was utterly concerned called her to touch base with her. Sara just muttered, "I am anxious coz there may be something intense in store and the shitty bit is that I am willing to see where this is heading to." There was this moment of intensity in her voice and if you listened carefully, you can hear that her voice was cracking..silently. There was that intense moment of silence but Sara was still adamant on not sharing this whirlwind that she is undergoing. Sara being that concern friend tried to change the subject and made it clear that those two lines were the only thing that she was willing to part with at the moment.

Sara pondered on the thought, what the hell is she feeling and why Ace? He was obviously not her type but she had developed a strong inclination towards him. The hell? Why? He wasn't anything like her other half whom Ace just couldn't match interms of looks, charisma and poise. He was a plain Joe who could not even contain a decent conversation. Sara was known for her intellectual dialogues and to her that was extremely important as a basis of a good relationship. He was not the type that would sweep one off their feet with their romancing and with Ace; efforts was also obviously not executed at all. He is a person that was very much pre-occupied with himself and didn't care for anyone's feelings except for himself. He was always and forever paranoid but somehow that sort of declined to a bearable level. Sounds like a jerk and the question is since when Sara was attracted to jerks? She always avoided and steered clear from them. Well like they say, there is always the first to everything so Sara is adamant to see where the water is leading towards. What is important is that Sara knows Ace makes her happy and comfortable with no form of pretence.

Some would say that Sara was heading towards dangerous liasion just for the kicks? That is a question that only time can tell. No pre-judgement and no love involved. That is what makes it all so easy to feel comfortable. Nevertheless Sara's concern, thoughtfulness and care is all real without a doubt.

Shitty but amazing how that corkiness could make her let her guard down. I guess that is one thing that she had wished Ace would do, make her feel distinctive as how she longed he would, not for any reason but just to attain the moment. She knows that it was certainly not love but more of an infactuation; an infactuation that she was enjoying.

She is admitting to herself that Ace made her happy and at this point in time that is what's important to her. Both Sara and Ace were already commited with each other's life partners and which neither was willing to part with. But what they are having feels good to a point that Sara feels that she wants to pursue just to see where it would lead to. Obviously no where. Is it due to the adrenaline rush, since she was a freak when it comes to excitement. What? She is guessing it is merely the companionship and nothing more.

But why the hell is Sara drawn to him? Is it because he filled that minuscule gap in her oh so perfect life. However, one thing that Sara was sure of is that her love towards her other half was still the same, as passionate and avid as how it was a decade ago. Why? Why? Sara for once in her perfect 34 year life had no answers to this obscurity. What were they pursuing? Nothing but the trill of the vagueness and secrecy. Yet Sara is wiling to stick on to see what was in store for her. Bottomline is Sara is happy and that is all that matters..sounds cruel and self-absorbed but to her it gives her some sense of contentment.

I know you guys are all trying to figure out who the hell does this snippet refers to. Before you jump to your own assumptions and conclusion, Sara & Ace are just fictional characters that are all in us, whether you realize or not and whether one allows it to resurface is secondary. Obviously not me but just a soul that wants that adrenaline rush in her life that she is leaving her door slightly ajar to allow chance who came knocking on her door,into her life for reason even she cannot decipher.